This seems sometimes to be the way of things. The three steps forward, two steps back. Probably not accurate but there you go feelings have never been a good judge of anything. I have been thinking about a lot of things the last couple days although nothing with much clarity or focus. Thoughts bouncing round my head and out my ears before I can chain them down. Where things are going, what I'm doing about it? How to fix my car and practise all those things I've been doing and work too much and try keep/get fit? Then there are the unusual ones.
I really love the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann (link at the bottom) there are some great snippets in there. Particularly the bit about fears being brought on by fatigue and loneliness. Things seem more trouble, more painful and all around you have a little less patients when you're tired. I remind myself of it often. Sometimes I hope it is the truth. How much further can I push myself? I am sleeping better than I have for a long time. Well kinda.
Still tough days are tough. I've never liked Valentines day. I'm not a fan of most of the other Hallmark holidays either however I reserve a particular distaste for the fourteenth of February. I wont harp on about it, did that last time. I didn't do much though, worked, danced, drank and slept. All in all not a bad day at all. Today was much the same although I've only completed the working bit... So far
Essentially this one is about how scattered I have been the last few days. Not being able to pull together anything really helpful. I'm annoyed and angry and missing people and hurting. Despite it all I'm fairly contented just too busy to think too much about it. I don't think this is living in the moment like they talk about but I don't have much space for other things either. I don't have the space or the place to think anything really good right now. It is an interesting feeling. Being stretched like this. None of these things are out of control and yet...
Talk to you next time
Cheers Japetto
Desiderata - Max Ehrmann
http://www.lordtonymackenzie.com/desiderata.html
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