The title really says it all, well not it all or there would be no need to type the rest. The thing is regardless of what anyone does the world will keep spinning. There are many things that have nearly and continue nearly threaten to overwhelm human existence on the planet and yet here we are still creating and consuming, bickering and anxious, sleeping, eating and going about the rest of our biological functions.
That is probably why these great threats are so distant. Regardless of their potential impact we don't really see the implication until too late. Certainly there is a certain propensity in western cultures, we punish the deed based on the outcome not the intent; and so it should be in many ways. Although perhaps not entirely. As such we have people being freed when they should be held, held when the should be freed and imminent global catastrophe.
These aren't all new concerns mind, the 20th century certainly gave us a taste. Our technology is now at such a place that we could, if so inclined to, end us all (or near enough that it makes little difference). It is obvious to me, and it should be to you, that we should not do that but rather strive to make the world a better place by acting meaningfully and with great purpose in all that we do.
Having said that I am not blind to the difficulties, many of us work multiple jobs and then try to make time for our health, friends, family, hobby and then we should try to better ourselves on top of that? People are definitely finite creatures which by all accounts run better with some sleep. So how do we go about this?
I have spent the past six months to learning about the history of the world and nature of humanity. Whilst much of it is quite dark it is not without hope. This is something that is most important to take from this. Whilst the Nazis tried to improve through biological selection, the Communists through a misplaced quest for utopia and the capitalists through an unending quest for the maximum for the minimum, there is a need for dialogue in all things.
Remember that conservatives do as the name suggests, the conserve things as they were and the status quo. Their argument is a good one for it does seem to work for the most part, but they are hindered by the structure. It does not bend and is what it is. Many are lost to the outside of the structure and those inside lack the perspective to see the tower for what it is.
Those on the left are just as misguided however. For they only know what they don't want and developing new systems are hard. Most systems are quite ancient and should only be disregarded with great care and consideration. The truth of course is somewhere in the middle and there in lies the need for dialogue and conversation. For whilst most of what is said is absurd and useless within is the nugget of gold hidden by the mountain. This gold is far more valuable than mere metal. It is what we all strive for, that which is glorified for itself and banishes all darkness before it.
So regardless of where you sit, do that one simple but difficult thing. Tell the truth.
Showing posts with label Japetto. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Japetto. Show all posts
Sunday, 4 September 2016
Tuesday, 8 October 2013
Hard Work, Marriage and Perspective -- Cold Hearted
So on another train ride. Not going to uni or anything now going north to a wedding but more on that later. So this train ride, going north and sitting near Americans. Students. They seemed nice enough but I was amazed at how different our lives were. How different our experiences have been the paradigmes we have set up for ourselves. These up bringings that have shapped the way we are but the inherent predejuces. Not saying that they were racist but there was a certian arogance about the way the spoke to each other. A certain entitl,emt they seemed to feel. Travelling through a gorgeous area of south east Queensland called the Glasshouse Mountains and not even looking out the window.
I would have liked to have chatted with them about a number of things but they weren't really interested. I would have loved to have learnt about them. That would have been really cool. Things must be so different in the US. I must go there one day. Just to see what it is like. I do think I want to spend too much time there. There is way too much stuff that I find genuinely terrifying about that world. Something alien. I know that sounds quite xenophobic. Maybe it is.
Still the wedding. A far more important thing for this day. I don't like weddings though. It is not the thought of matrimony that bothers me because it does not. I rather idealise the joining of two people and do mean people, into a publicly recognised, commited relationship.
No what bothers me is the rhetoric. The game. Why do we need to talk of how these people were fated to be together? Fate's role in this is irrelevent. In fact I would begrudge fate if he had a hand in it for it absolves choice. Everyone should be accountable for their choices. Everyone needs to work for it right?
I would have liked to have chatted with them about a number of things but they weren't really interested. I would have loved to have learnt about them. That would have been really cool. Things must be so different in the US. I must go there one day. Just to see what it is like. I do think I want to spend too much time there. There is way too much stuff that I find genuinely terrifying about that world. Something alien. I know that sounds quite xenophobic. Maybe it is.
Still the wedding. A far more important thing for this day. I don't like weddings though. It is not the thought of matrimony that bothers me because it does not. I rather idealise the joining of two people and do mean people, into a publicly recognised, commited relationship.
No what bothers me is the rhetoric. The game. Why do we need to talk of how these people were fated to be together? Fate's role in this is irrelevent. In fact I would begrudge fate if he had a hand in it for it absolves choice. Everyone should be accountable for their choices. Everyone needs to work for it right?
Tuesday, 28 May 2013
Don't read too much into this.
It's been six weeks since I've done one of these. It has been a damn busy six weeks too. Uni getting down to business, work mostly just getting int he way and not paying enough. Picked up a hobby again. Won't tell you about it, it's slightly embarrassing. The idea that we should confront ourselves with who we are is important. It is dangerous. It is also not a certain thing. The view we have of ourselves is limited at best only by a wanting to be the best self and at the worst is entirely inaccurate for a whole bunch of reasons.
For these reasons and others maybe we have friends to guide us and shape us in the ways we would like. Perhaps sometimes you can get back on track with a gentle nudge, as long as they nudge the way you want.
I'm beating round the bush.
I often feel pretty crappy, not sick, but just really low. Depression is definitely a real thing and has very real effects. Causes are often different and the manifestations too. I'm ok with this. What concerns me is the why. I don't understand why. In investigating what it could be with doctors and others alike, I have become familiar with waiting and the mediocrity of receptionists. I'm concerned though that it's not something easily fixable.
I'm worried that my brain is frying. I don't feel as clever or switched on as I used to be. It takes me longer to grasp things than it used to and extrapolating on that is getting harder. I'm losing track of time, imagining things and becoming forgetful. Feel like I'm relating really poorly with people, doing and saying terrible things, not because I want to but because I misread or phrase things wrong. Maybe these are the signs of growing up? Maybe these are normal? I don't know.
That scares the crap out of me. It's probably not even true. Certainly today I'm not in the correct space to make a good call and that certainly isn't a good one. I just want to be normal(ish). That would be nice. Then I wouldn't write about this stuff and I'd just go about doing what needs to be done, seeing people who wish to be seen and all the rest that people like you do. To focus on the important stuff in life not the trivial or the stuff that doesn't even effect.
For these reasons and others maybe we have friends to guide us and shape us in the ways we would like. Perhaps sometimes you can get back on track with a gentle nudge, as long as they nudge the way you want.
I'm beating round the bush.
I often feel pretty crappy, not sick, but just really low. Depression is definitely a real thing and has very real effects. Causes are often different and the manifestations too. I'm ok with this. What concerns me is the why. I don't understand why. In investigating what it could be with doctors and others alike, I have become familiar with waiting and the mediocrity of receptionists. I'm concerned though that it's not something easily fixable.
I'm worried that my brain is frying. I don't feel as clever or switched on as I used to be. It takes me longer to grasp things than it used to and extrapolating on that is getting harder. I'm losing track of time, imagining things and becoming forgetful. Feel like I'm relating really poorly with people, doing and saying terrible things, not because I want to but because I misread or phrase things wrong. Maybe these are the signs of growing up? Maybe these are normal? I don't know.
That scares the crap out of me. It's probably not even true. Certainly today I'm not in the correct space to make a good call and that certainly isn't a good one. I just want to be normal(ish). That would be nice. Then I wouldn't write about this stuff and I'd just go about doing what needs to be done, seeing people who wish to be seen and all the rest that people like you do. To focus on the important stuff in life not the trivial or the stuff that doesn't even effect.
Tuesday, 19 March 2013
Molten Iron -- Anger and Rebirth
There is something pure about anger. A white hot furnace of truth. A position reflecting the heart. Anger is honest. That is, it can't be easy to have dishonest anger so by process of elimination. What then is anger, wrath cannot exist for the purpose of wrath. Where is the shame and the hurt? the affront and sadness. When the fires of rage are exhausted, when the fuel is gone, what is left?
This fire analogy is an apt one. It describes what happens. The anger passes. Try to see what is left, see what is underneath. See the pride and shame and the ever testing trials of flaws we have no say on but to grow through. Remember the pain of growing, of the difficulty of moving to a new place. The mind and soul, or however you wish to identify them, are not dissimilar to the body, they grow, sometimes it takes a while to catch up. Sometimes they may never quite get there.
And in so keeping with what is anger it begins in white hotness and now on this packed train of people who are not people, with space all around me there is the inevitable depression that is regrowth. Phoenix are beautiful.
This fire analogy is an apt one. It describes what happens. The anger passes. Try to see what is left, see what is underneath. See the pride and shame and the ever testing trials of flaws we have no say on but to grow through. Remember the pain of growing, of the difficulty of moving to a new place. The mind and soul, or however you wish to identify them, are not dissimilar to the body, they grow, sometimes it takes a while to catch up. Sometimes they may never quite get there.
And in so keeping with what is anger it begins in white hotness and now on this packed train of people who are not people, with space all around me there is the inevitable depression that is regrowth. Phoenix are beautiful.
Friday, 15 March 2013
Lovers and Friends -- Redifining
Look around, at the people you know. It seems many of them have these wonderful support groups. Surrounded by lovers and people for them, people who trust and are trusted to help and accept. Friends is what I figure they are. Not so sure if that is correct anymore. People still have these groups around them, people who trust, love, support and sustain. But is that what a friend is?
They say you can judge a man by the company he keeps. I ask these questions from a place of sadness. There is no anger in the passing of a lover. Such things happen but mourning at the loss of something that was always so wonderful and ever present. We each make our choices and there is no prize for self sacrifice. What would be left to love if it has all been sacrificed unto the alter of others?
People do things they think are right, or at least ok. It is hindsight providing the insight into err. How much damage can you do before things don't heal. Can you forgive the blunder. When the bandage is moved with it still pump red to the soil enriching the dirt with your essence. Are all men born equal or are some more equal than others?
They say you can judge a man by the company he keeps. I ask these questions from a place of sadness. There is no anger in the passing of a lover. Such things happen but mourning at the loss of something that was always so wonderful and ever present. We each make our choices and there is no prize for self sacrifice. What would be left to love if it has all been sacrificed unto the alter of others?
People do things they think are right, or at least ok. It is hindsight providing the insight into err. How much damage can you do before things don't heal. Can you forgive the blunder. When the bandage is moved with it still pump red to the soil enriching the dirt with your essence. Are all men born equal or are some more equal than others?
Friday, 1 March 2013
Help and hinder -- Sinking, Swimming, Standing, Falling.
It is important to help people stand. Stand on their own two feet, proud and strong human beings. Musing on the importance of helping people and the balance between empowering and uplifting and the unhelpful doing things for them, essentially 'weakening' leading to dependence. How much can one do for a friend before they need to stand unaided? How much can I ask of my friends without crippling my own abilities? Yet certainly there is a difference between this and constant and unrelenting criticism. How important is it for me to know that I have disappointed you when it is entirely likely I have disappointed myself so very much more. Which one hurts more keenly? When a kid falls do you offer your hand to help them up or do you stand on their back pushing them back down?
Equally, surely it is important to be able to hear when you are being uplifted and not just the criticism (even if they are constructive). It has been said that it takes three times as many good words to have the same effect of one bad one. It is also very important to be sure in yourself of when you have done something right and good in the world. To be OK with it being just that and not having the world point and sing your praises. If only I could tell myself this ten years ago and hear. If only I could hear it now!
I hope that I never stop growing and that as time stretches out and onward I become more at peace with who I am and what I do. This however needs to be tempered with a healthy ambition and desire to be a working member of society, to do my bit, to work hard at my job and not just being a good person. These things can be hand in hand. Both personal and professional development in practise. They are not mutually exclusive possibilities they will work together. These things seem not to be taught but are learnt. For all the sense that statement makes. Still time to drink away the disappointment and drink to celebrate the good times. Till I see you again.
Equally, surely it is important to be able to hear when you are being uplifted and not just the criticism (even if they are constructive). It has been said that it takes three times as many good words to have the same effect of one bad one. It is also very important to be sure in yourself of when you have done something right and good in the world. To be OK with it being just that and not having the world point and sing your praises. If only I could tell myself this ten years ago and hear. If only I could hear it now!
I hope that I never stop growing and that as time stretches out and onward I become more at peace with who I am and what I do. This however needs to be tempered with a healthy ambition and desire to be a working member of society, to do my bit, to work hard at my job and not just being a good person. These things can be hand in hand. Both personal and professional development in practise. They are not mutually exclusive possibilities they will work together. These things seem not to be taught but are learnt. For all the sense that statement makes. Still time to drink away the disappointment and drink to celebrate the good times. Till I see you again.
Monday, 18 February 2013
Lots of Question -- Older You Are The Less You Know
I feel that for the first piece of moderately introspective writing of the year I should, perhaps, in light of the times examine the end of last year and optimistically project on to this year. Figure it is two months late though. It was also single awareness day this week, missed that too. So why do we have these tendencies. These strange desires to look on the past and project in to the futures neither of which are accurate realities or even real. To make days out of nothing and resolutions. It is true that you reap what you sow and also that you see what you wish to see.
The struggle is the balance of doing what is good for me, the individual and yet live without being overly selfish, where ever you set that bar. Balance in what is right for the only life I have and having kindness and compassion for others. Showing the right amount of genuine interest in the lives of others. The other thing is what happens when those close to you, the ones you invest in their well being, what happens when they don't respond or no longer respond. When they move away or move on. How long do you hold on, can you always move together? Obviously I struggle with these because I see and experience them, but what do I miss?
When I applied for uni I applied for a mixture of engineering and psychology. People are fascinating, what makes them tick, what makes you do what you do and why do we make the choices when they seem like the opposite of what we should do. The difficulty being there doesn't seem to be many good answers. People split between how we believe the brain works, where does the human being lay in the brain what is pulling the strings, (if someone knows an answer for this please let me know). Where does attraction lie and what stops people taking the plunge doing things which they may not have considered. How much more effort does it take?
There are so many questions about people and life. So much is known but ever more questions. Through all this, tomorrow I will go to work to make sure I can keep eating. Can't help but feel I could almost be doing something better with my time.
The struggle is the balance of doing what is good for me, the individual and yet live without being overly selfish, where ever you set that bar. Balance in what is right for the only life I have and having kindness and compassion for others. Showing the right amount of genuine interest in the lives of others. The other thing is what happens when those close to you, the ones you invest in their well being, what happens when they don't respond or no longer respond. When they move away or move on. How long do you hold on, can you always move together? Obviously I struggle with these because I see and experience them, but what do I miss?
When I applied for uni I applied for a mixture of engineering and psychology. People are fascinating, what makes them tick, what makes you do what you do and why do we make the choices when they seem like the opposite of what we should do. The difficulty being there doesn't seem to be many good answers. People split between how we believe the brain works, where does the human being lay in the brain what is pulling the strings, (if someone knows an answer for this please let me know). Where does attraction lie and what stops people taking the plunge doing things which they may not have considered. How much more effort does it take?
There are so many questions about people and life. So much is known but ever more questions. Through all this, tomorrow I will go to work to make sure I can keep eating. Can't help but feel I could almost be doing something better with my time.
Thursday, 6 December 2012
Eating and Drinking and Being Thoughtful -- Melbourne and Humanitarian Works
So when I started writing this I was in Melbourne. I finished it up the next day in Brisbane.
So about to leave Melbourne for the second time this year. I know I wanted to get down here again but it was rather unexpected. I hadn't thought I'd get down here again. I'd like to have something deep and impacting for you but mostly I just had a wonderful time eating and drinking my way through the city. I do so love my food and drink, or anyone elses for that matter. As far as places go for food and drink I certainly think that Melbourne is one of the better ones. I haven't been to enough places mind.
We were down here on behalf of uni to present at the EWB Challenge national finals. Very cool stuff although I'm not overly invested in humanitarian work there were still some great ideas to help improve peoples lives I only wish the winning idea had been better. It felt odd that in the end the judges had wanted to address peoples comfort (in a small way if at all) rather than survival rates. Still as I said humanitarian work isn't exactly my forte and I will concede I don't know much about it. I think my forte lies in the 'higher' level thinking stuff. In challenging people who live in the first world. Challenging them on their beliefs and drives.
Certainly with this blog, in conversation and discussion I hope to encourage people to think and question what it is they believe and feel, and why this is so. Where does one draw the line with helping people? Do you give everything you have away? These are questions that I don't feel have right answers particularly in western societies. I feel it is important on an individual level that people contemplate these even if not for long. To bring about an awareness of themselves and that their is a world around them that they can affect even in small ways. Or even what their obligation to do so is. I don't know if that is the path to happiness but I think a greater understanding of self and the world would be a step in the right direction.
So as it turns out I did have something meaningful to gain from Melbourne and I hope that reading this helps you guys out too.
So about to leave Melbourne for the second time this year. I know I wanted to get down here again but it was rather unexpected. I hadn't thought I'd get down here again. I'd like to have something deep and impacting for you but mostly I just had a wonderful time eating and drinking my way through the city. I do so love my food and drink, or anyone elses for that matter. As far as places go for food and drink I certainly think that Melbourne is one of the better ones. I haven't been to enough places mind.
We were down here on behalf of uni to present at the EWB Challenge national finals. Very cool stuff although I'm not overly invested in humanitarian work there were still some great ideas to help improve peoples lives I only wish the winning idea had been better. It felt odd that in the end the judges had wanted to address peoples comfort (in a small way if at all) rather than survival rates. Still as I said humanitarian work isn't exactly my forte and I will concede I don't know much about it. I think my forte lies in the 'higher' level thinking stuff. In challenging people who live in the first world. Challenging them on their beliefs and drives.
Certainly with this blog, in conversation and discussion I hope to encourage people to think and question what it is they believe and feel, and why this is so. Where does one draw the line with helping people? Do you give everything you have away? These are questions that I don't feel have right answers particularly in western societies. I feel it is important on an individual level that people contemplate these even if not for long. To bring about an awareness of themselves and that their is a world around them that they can affect even in small ways. Or even what their obligation to do so is. I don't know if that is the path to happiness but I think a greater understanding of self and the world would be a step in the right direction.
So as it turns out I did have something meaningful to gain from Melbourne and I hope that reading this helps you guys out too.
Tuesday, 27 November 2012
Quotes and Wisdom -- I wish this were true.
“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find
someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things
that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything
you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future,
dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the
many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful
happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share
in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you
are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do
they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough,
but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that
make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure,
jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around.
You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you
because they love you for who you are. The things that seem
insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become
invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever.
Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s
like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant.
Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or
didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you
through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In
their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you
find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never
interested you before become fascinating because you know they are
important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this
person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring
them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on
the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be
broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy
that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the
only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it
scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and
possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems
completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and
security is in knowing that they are a part of your life." - Bob Marley
http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/151476-only-once-in-your-life-i-truly-believe-you-find
I'm not sure if I believe in the completeness of this any more.
Thursday, 22 November 2012
Inspiring Fear -- Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!
It is funny how fears can creep up on you. Things that you don't contemplate because you never saw them coming, or because you don't contemplate much. The thing is fear is often based in the future, on something that may or may not happen. These worries this stress isn't really necessary.
Fear of itself is not a good reason to not doing anything. If I had to list things that becoming a man or woman, an adult was about it would be doing things despite being afraid. That is not to say go out and do stupid shit but more to challenge oneself in the boundaries you set to make sure you keep striving and journeying towards being a better human being. Fear will prevent this. Fear is in fact very good at preventing growth because it is so very easy to rationalise. Fears are often based in good places. "I'm not jumping because this is the eight stories high". But maybe from this eighth floor there is a giant water slide and it would be perfectly safe and awesome fun. Sometimes there are good and great things that we cannot see because we are afraid.
Be smart in where you push but keep pushing. Even if no one else thinks you're great you can because you will be more of a person than you were yesterday, more human. Take journeys with people and grow and learn and experience. You don't need to have great recognition to do great things. You just have to do them.
Fear of itself is not a good reason to not doing anything. If I had to list things that becoming a man or woman, an adult was about it would be doing things despite being afraid. That is not to say go out and do stupid shit but more to challenge oneself in the boundaries you set to make sure you keep striving and journeying towards being a better human being. Fear will prevent this. Fear is in fact very good at preventing growth because it is so very easy to rationalise. Fears are often based in good places. "I'm not jumping because this is the eight stories high". But maybe from this eighth floor there is a giant water slide and it would be perfectly safe and awesome fun. Sometimes there are good and great things that we cannot see because we are afraid.
Be smart in where you push but keep pushing. Even if no one else thinks you're great you can because you will be more of a person than you were yesterday, more human. Take journeys with people and grow and learn and experience. You don't need to have great recognition to do great things. You just have to do them.
Wednesday, 14 November 2012
This sentiment right here.
Caboose asks Church if he ever wonders why they're here. Church replies "It's
not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to.
I mean, you should hate someone because they're an asshole or a pervert
or snob or they're lazy or an idiot or a know-it-all. Those are reasons
to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you
to. You have to learn to despise people on a personal level. Not because
they're red or because they're blue but because ya know them and you
see them every single day. And you can't stand them because they're a
complete and total fucking douchebag." Caboose then corrects him, stating that he simply wanted to know why they were in the sun when they could be in the shade.
Stolen from Rooster teeth, Red vs Blue Season 5.
Stolen from Rooster teeth, Red vs Blue Season 5.
Thursday, 8 November 2012
Hopeful - Looking here and now and forward
Organised belief systems absolve responsibility. That's it, it has been said. One of the big unrealised issues with belief and my problem with religions. "I failed this, got fired by blah or was mean to this person because God/Zeus/Cat/Caboose wanted it this way". That is so not OK. You failed/fired cause you didn't do the work. You were mean because you were projecting your ideals and ideas onto someone else or you straight up just don't care enough to let them be them. As time goes by empirical thinking has been harder to ignore, it provides a foundation to learn so much. Reconcile that you don't know everything or rather nearly anything, you know what you know however and that is also such a vast amount. How to communicate, language and social behaviour then there is everything that you have learnt over time from school and family and friends! The sheer knowledge we have gained is astounding and yet there is always more. Is that not wonderful?
This blog has been inspired by uni exams and the fact that Prof. Brian Cox is on the radio and I happen to be on the train. For those who aren't familiar with Brian Cox he is a exceptionally clever man with a couple doctorates specialising in particle physics and astrophysics. He was also in a moderately famous pop band. "Thingggssss, can only get betterrrr..." Yeah that one. Just there is so much hope for humanity if just we could step outside ourselves for a bit. There are so many wonders that inspire. We can't ignore politics, whether US or Australian and pop culture is exceptionally prevalent it is inescapable but at the same time these things are inspiring in many ways. Except Nicki Minaj, she still is is disgrace to all things art.
So with only 1 important exam left after today and a bludge one after that what am I looking to do with my time. See and spend time with friends gathering experiences and learning. I'm gonna make some youtube videos again, although probably not vlog type ones, make some music, continue with piano and guitar. Work as well. Set some things right.
Lets see how that goes hey!
This blog has been inspired by uni exams and the fact that Prof. Brian Cox is on the radio and I happen to be on the train. For those who aren't familiar with Brian Cox he is a exceptionally clever man with a couple doctorates specialising in particle physics and astrophysics. He was also in a moderately famous pop band. "Thingggssss, can only get betterrrr..." Yeah that one. Just there is so much hope for humanity if just we could step outside ourselves for a bit. There are so many wonders that inspire. We can't ignore politics, whether US or Australian and pop culture is exceptionally prevalent it is inescapable but at the same time these things are inspiring in many ways. Except Nicki Minaj, she still is is disgrace to all things art.
So with only 1 important exam left after today and a bludge one after that what am I looking to do with my time. See and spend time with friends gathering experiences and learning. I'm gonna make some youtube videos again, although probably not vlog type ones, make some music, continue with piano and guitar. Work as well. Set some things right.
Lets see how that goes hey!
Tuesday, 23 October 2012
Discontent
It's hard to hide the gnashing of teeth,
the accentuated rise and fall of the the chest, the frown,
the agitation and restlessness, the anger,
the rise in pain from wounds not healed! Physical and not.
Hard to dismiss what does not apply and yet the effects that keep affecting.
Your thoughtlessness, choices plain to see,
changes deep as a dried creek bed, relevant only for a single moment.
Bizarre misplaced reasoning leading down the short road to mistakes and heart aches.
We all want our cake and to eat it to,
for what else do you have cake for?
All the while watching and observing,
reflecting on differences and drives,
we shall see what tomorrow brings
the accentuated rise and fall of the the chest, the frown,
the agitation and restlessness, the anger,
the rise in pain from wounds not healed! Physical and not.
Hard to dismiss what does not apply and yet the effects that keep affecting.
Your thoughtlessness, choices plain to see,
changes deep as a dried creek bed, relevant only for a single moment.
Bizarre misplaced reasoning leading down the short road to mistakes and heart aches.
We all want our cake and to eat it to,
for what else do you have cake for?
All the while watching and observing,
reflecting on differences and drives,
we shall see what tomorrow brings
Saturday, 22 September 2012
Collections of Scatters -- Disconnected Thoughts, Worries
So here are a few of the thoughts that have started for me recently but failed to develop into whole posts. Then there will some stuff about where I have been in my head just recently.
Post 1
People are both stronger and more fragile than they appear. This is concerning. It may have been mentioned before that I'm not the nicest guy around and I stick to this regardless of how things may appear. There are a few reasons for this and most of them are to do with making choices.When presented with a situation there is generally the feeling of this is what we believe is the right choice to make. The problem lies when someone refuses to make that choice. Not makes a mistake of judgement but rather decides to do something else.
Post 2
Music has been strange recently, hasn't it? Seriously Call Me Maybe on the back of Friday and now Gangnam Style. Finding more and more people rejecting 'artist's' such as Nicki Minaj. It has been rather fascinating watching the changes and where they might go next. Independent music has been on the up and up. It seems more and more that commercial radio is being phased out and being replaced by people downloading and playing their own. Now with the horrible percentage of ads removed could this possibly change. Or is this one giant mistake and illusion based on demographics and familiarity. Have things maybe always been like this?
The Last Week
Recently I've been fighting the depression that is my... constant struggle? I don't really know how to describe it. I mean I fight with myself trying to instil a believe of self worth. The annoying thing is that I'm not sure what it is all about. Just that there be a lack of some chemical in my head and I have to try really hard to change it. I mean really none of that is even confirmed. Just I recognize it as what it is and try to deal with it. It is hard though to encourage yourself when you don't believe a word of it. That I think is why I certainly find value in human interactions. This isn't supposed to manipulate anyone who reads this overly but rather a way of me expressing my struggles.
And it is a struggle. Regardless I'm worried. I'm worried that I'm not in the right place that I've missed some mystical choice that would put me somewhere that I'm supposed to be. The idea is foreign, foolish. Crazy I am where I am and that is the way of things yet it worries me. I have been making poor choice and this is no excuse but it does exacerbate (make worse) things. Not really a fan of that lost sensation. Still nearly time for me to go celebrate a birthday. I really hope I don't fail them as well.
Post 1
People are both stronger and more fragile than they appear. This is concerning. It may have been mentioned before that I'm not the nicest guy around and I stick to this regardless of how things may appear. There are a few reasons for this and most of them are to do with making choices.When presented with a situation there is generally the feeling of this is what we believe is the right choice to make. The problem lies when someone refuses to make that choice. Not makes a mistake of judgement but rather decides to do something else.
Post 2
Music has been strange recently, hasn't it? Seriously Call Me Maybe on the back of Friday and now Gangnam Style. Finding more and more people rejecting 'artist's' such as Nicki Minaj. It has been rather fascinating watching the changes and where they might go next. Independent music has been on the up and up. It seems more and more that commercial radio is being phased out and being replaced by people downloading and playing their own. Now with the horrible percentage of ads removed could this possibly change. Or is this one giant mistake and illusion based on demographics and familiarity. Have things maybe always been like this?
The Last Week
Recently I've been fighting the depression that is my... constant struggle? I don't really know how to describe it. I mean I fight with myself trying to instil a believe of self worth. The annoying thing is that I'm not sure what it is all about. Just that there be a lack of some chemical in my head and I have to try really hard to change it. I mean really none of that is even confirmed. Just I recognize it as what it is and try to deal with it. It is hard though to encourage yourself when you don't believe a word of it. That I think is why I certainly find value in human interactions. This isn't supposed to manipulate anyone who reads this overly but rather a way of me expressing my struggles.
And it is a struggle. Regardless I'm worried. I'm worried that I'm not in the right place that I've missed some mystical choice that would put me somewhere that I'm supposed to be. The idea is foreign, foolish. Crazy I am where I am and that is the way of things yet it worries me. I have been making poor choice and this is no excuse but it does exacerbate (make worse) things. Not really a fan of that lost sensation. Still nearly time for me to go celebrate a birthday. I really hope I don't fail them as well.
Tuesday, 14 August 2012
Fail Blog -- Love, Language...
So... Found this little article just here. It is really very cool. It has been observed previously (see in the first 3 or 4 blogs) that in Greek there are five words for love yet in English the concept is encompassed by one measly four letter word. I mean we have multiple words that we can substitute in for fuck (some of them even other four letter words), yet only one love. Anyway that article lists some words from other languages and translates them as best as they can. They are to do with relationships and feelings and whilst it is probably a little bit
Anyway where this is going is towards the things that are bigger than they seem. Four letter words, which encompass any idea. Any definition really. Then to go on to a person, then people and the interactions of people. Eloquence is important and useful. Despite the sometimes difficulties one can have in communicating with an elaborated scope of language at ones disposal. Words are valuable and the depth and scope you can communicate with masterful hand with language is delighting.
(ok break time)
I'd just like it noted at this point that I have been trying to write this for two weeks. It has gone in two totally separate directions and neither went anywhere with any purpose. Things have been frustration are frustration just recently so incoming whiny blog next, you know if there is a point to writing it down :P
Talk soon!
Anyway where this is going is towards the things that are bigger than they seem. Four letter words, which encompass any idea. Any definition really. Then to go on to a person, then people and the interactions of people. Eloquence is important and useful. Despite the sometimes difficulties one can have in communicating with an elaborated scope of language at ones disposal. Words are valuable and the depth and scope you can communicate with masterful hand with language is delighting.
(ok break time)
I'd just like it noted at this point that I have been trying to write this for two weeks. It has gone in two totally separate directions and neither went anywhere with any purpose. Things have been frustration are frustration just recently so incoming whiny blog next, you know if there is a point to writing it down :P
Talk soon!
Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Poets, Biology and Psychcology -- It's a Beautiful World
Halfway through year eleven was when poetry changed. Approximately mid 2005 that would be. It went from something meaningless a pointless object of study to something more. Eloquence is important eloquence adds something beautiful to otherwise purely functional language, language that would not make a whole lot of sense. The way writers would construct words and meanings from seemingly unrelated tangents and images. The imagining that goes into it was; is wonderful. The study of poetry, still nearly meaningless though. The power of imagination is truly astounding.
Current thoughts in regards to the workings of people propose the idea that our brains, which receive electrical signals, use that information to construct what we see, hear, smell, etc. That information has still gone from the 'real' world and been converted to digital. As with all ADC's (Analogue to Digital Converter) there is signal loss. Still our brains create this amazing world. This detailed, beautiful and amazing world that we are part of. We imagine this! How great is that. It is however altered by our perceptions of the information we receive. Analogies and personification lending meaning because of our understanding of non-literal ideas. A perception of a reality that we refuse to believe lending meaning to an eloquence seldom achieved by the layman.
The same applies to memories. Did you know our brains fill in gaps for information we don't have as long as they have evidence of an event. Sorry there is no reference but there was a study done of people who had been to Disney land five years after they had. At an interview at this time they were all shown a picture of themselves with Bugs Bunny. 80% of people claimed they remembered having the photo taken... But Bugs Bunny is a Warner Bros. character. It is important to remember this. Living in memories, living in the past is a dangerous place to be. But when I go outside, the Botanical garden are right there, this is a centre of learning full of potential, of hope, of youth and wisdom. This is a beautiful world. Poets are right to write of love and beauty and loss so we remember that the bad will come but this moment too will pass.
Current thoughts in regards to the workings of people propose the idea that our brains, which receive electrical signals, use that information to construct what we see, hear, smell, etc. That information has still gone from the 'real' world and been converted to digital. As with all ADC's (Analogue to Digital Converter) there is signal loss. Still our brains create this amazing world. This detailed, beautiful and amazing world that we are part of. We imagine this! How great is that. It is however altered by our perceptions of the information we receive. Analogies and personification lending meaning because of our understanding of non-literal ideas. A perception of a reality that we refuse to believe lending meaning to an eloquence seldom achieved by the layman.
The same applies to memories. Did you know our brains fill in gaps for information we don't have as long as they have evidence of an event. Sorry there is no reference but there was a study done of people who had been to Disney land five years after they had. At an interview at this time they were all shown a picture of themselves with Bugs Bunny. 80% of people claimed they remembered having the photo taken... But Bugs Bunny is a Warner Bros. character. It is important to remember this. Living in memories, living in the past is a dangerous place to be. But when I go outside, the Botanical garden are right there, this is a centre of learning full of potential, of hope, of youth and wisdom. This is a beautiful world. Poets are right to write of love and beauty and loss so we remember that the bad will come but this moment too will pass.
Wednesday, 25 July 2012
Comfortably Good -- Being the best
I have come to the realisation that I will never be really good at anything. Not really, really good. Not a rock star, or an elite athlete, probably not a leader in my field. I'm ok with this. Hell, thats awesome. I'm way to balanced. I like that. Yeah it means I wont be one of those amazing people but the sacrifices you would have to make to get there. It is too much. I really wanted to write that in a much more positive manner. Despite how it sounds it is positive honest. The idea of being a balanced human being who is able to be interested and do a number of different, split my time between work and play with no need nor desire to be anything more than good. There is nothing wrong with being good. Solid, not mediocre... I've attacked the idea of being mediocre and that is not O.K.being solidly good without needing to be the best. Nothing wrong with that. Can only be one best at a time anyway.
I suppose this thinking has some inherent dangers. It could lead to that dreaded averagness that plagues everywhere... well according to me. Anyway this was a short one that I wanted to make the point that thank you those who do strive to be the best, the rocks stars, the athletes, the professors and cutting edge surgeons (oh yeah pun!) and doctors. You guys do wonderful things. Great things bring joy and entertainment to me. Small me who is happy being solidly good, going to bed, playing bad music and having good friends because I know you can't have that life.
I suppose this thinking has some inherent dangers. It could lead to that dreaded averagness that plagues everywhere... well according to me. Anyway this was a short one that I wanted to make the point that thank you those who do strive to be the best, the rocks stars, the athletes, the professors and cutting edge surgeons (oh yeah pun!) and doctors. You guys do wonderful things. Great things bring joy and entertainment to me. Small me who is happy being solidly good, going to bed, playing bad music and having good friends because I know you can't have that life.
Sunday, 8 July 2012
Wrathfully inspired -- Friends, Being Better
So had lots of thoughts the last few days. None of them fully formed (would you expect anything else) and most of them next to useless but nice to explore regardless.
So, where to start. The astute of you may notice that it is 0022hrs Sunday, 8th July 2012. This means that not that long ago it was Saturday and obviously this is a blog. That may imply that I wasn't out tonight, or at least not for very long, or if I did something remarkable happened. I'm blogging guess what it was?
Anyway as I have been home all evening wanted to write about expectations. I have found it common that people like to say they have no expectations of people, of their friends. Now, in principle I probably agree with the sentiment. Certainly not a fan of dependent relationships. However in practise I expect things of my friends. I expect them to behave like human beings. I feel the people who I choose to associate with are reflections of me, who I want to be and what I like. These people I want to be around are my peers by my choice. They are lucky however I want to be honoured and proud to know them. To spend my time, precious time split between many things with these people. Does that not give them some responsibility?
I mean I want people to be proud to call me friend. To want to know me, want to see me and I want to be the best person I can, not just for me because I can but because I can help to enrich yours and their lives. This is partly what this whole blog is about. I'm a human being with and experience hopefully you get something from my experience, something that helps you be a better human, whatever that means to you. I have a responsibility to you to not be a dick. To help you more than I hinder. Yet we are all human and within these parameters people can be disappointed and let down and hurt. Not all of that can be made right.
That there is a scary thought. I can hurt my friends, I do hurt my friends. I need to be better to my friends but how do I do that. I mean treating other people as I want to be treated doesn't work. It's a nice sentiment but doesn't really work. I just need to work at the relationships. I want them to do the same.
SO what I'm saying is I'm proud of the people I call friend. I expect better of them. I'm OK that they disappoint me and let me down, it sucks, I'll get over it. I hope they are proud of me. I hope I am better to them. I hope I bring something positive to their lives.
So, where to start. The astute of you may notice that it is 0022hrs Sunday, 8th July 2012. This means that not that long ago it was Saturday and obviously this is a blog. That may imply that I wasn't out tonight, or at least not for very long, or if I did something remarkable happened. I'm blogging guess what it was?
Anyway as I have been home all evening wanted to write about expectations. I have found it common that people like to say they have no expectations of people, of their friends. Now, in principle I probably agree with the sentiment. Certainly not a fan of dependent relationships. However in practise I expect things of my friends. I expect them to behave like human beings. I feel the people who I choose to associate with are reflections of me, who I want to be and what I like. These people I want to be around are my peers by my choice. They are lucky however I want to be honoured and proud to know them. To spend my time, precious time split between many things with these people. Does that not give them some responsibility?
I mean I want people to be proud to call me friend. To want to know me, want to see me and I want to be the best person I can, not just for me because I can but because I can help to enrich yours and their lives. This is partly what this whole blog is about. I'm a human being with and experience hopefully you get something from my experience, something that helps you be a better human, whatever that means to you. I have a responsibility to you to not be a dick. To help you more than I hinder. Yet we are all human and within these parameters people can be disappointed and let down and hurt. Not all of that can be made right.
That there is a scary thought. I can hurt my friends, I do hurt my friends. I need to be better to my friends but how do I do that. I mean treating other people as I want to be treated doesn't work. It's a nice sentiment but doesn't really work. I just need to work at the relationships. I want them to do the same.
SO what I'm saying is I'm proud of the people I call friend. I expect better of them. I'm OK that they disappoint me and let me down, it sucks, I'll get over it. I hope they are proud of me. I hope I am better to them. I hope I bring something positive to their lives.
Tuesday, 3 July 2012
Writers block and Wrecking Balls -- Not advice, or quote, or wise.
I think this is about the third time I've opened this up now and still don't really have anything new. They say there is nothing new under the sun but after a massive six months of this I'd be concerned if I was repeating myself without any changes, without any growth.
The thing is people still come and go from lives drifting in and out. People still disappoint and let you down, surprise you and if they're good build you up. Uni is a challenge which one should work harder at and I'm not as fit as I could be. Want to practice more of those instruments and continue to try new things and get back into those things I no longer have been able to make time for.
I have over the last six months always wanted to write about all those quotes and wisdom statements you see on the internet and Facebook. So many people comment on them and like them. Yet I've found often if I spend 30 seconds looking at it, the quote is a poor one. In fact it will generally be a hopelessly romanticized way to see the world. It does not work and can not work. We all subscribe to this wonderfulness and really its not wonderful, its despairing. That is not to say there are no good quotes, no good wisdom statements, no good observations on the human reality. On contra ire they're just not popular (on the whole).
I think one of the most touted pieces of advice is, 'be yourself'. I honestly have no idea what that means. Does it mean I should do what I think I should do, because that is what I'm already doing. Or does it mean I should do what I feel is right regardless of the rules and standards around me, but that is really dangerous. What if I believe in culling the stupid?! Now I'm not suggesting all advice and wisdom has to be universal. Just well thought out. Just because someone likes a sentiment doesn't mean it is a useful or helpful sentiment. Often it is just a reflection of a place we used to be in. An example of a connection to a past which no longer exists.
So next time you see a 30 great quotes web page or someone posts something on Facebook, look at them and wonder to yourself does it mean anything? does it help me now? In the end that's what you need it for and maybe it would be nice to reflect on how nice it would be if things could be that simple.
The thing is people still come and go from lives drifting in and out. People still disappoint and let you down, surprise you and if they're good build you up. Uni is a challenge which one should work harder at and I'm not as fit as I could be. Want to practice more of those instruments and continue to try new things and get back into those things I no longer have been able to make time for.
I have over the last six months always wanted to write about all those quotes and wisdom statements you see on the internet and Facebook. So many people comment on them and like them. Yet I've found often if I spend 30 seconds looking at it, the quote is a poor one. In fact it will generally be a hopelessly romanticized way to see the world. It does not work and can not work. We all subscribe to this wonderfulness and really its not wonderful, its despairing. That is not to say there are no good quotes, no good wisdom statements, no good observations on the human reality. On contra ire they're just not popular (on the whole).
I think one of the most touted pieces of advice is, 'be yourself'. I honestly have no idea what that means. Does it mean I should do what I think I should do, because that is what I'm already doing. Or does it mean I should do what I feel is right regardless of the rules and standards around me, but that is really dangerous. What if I believe in culling the stupid?! Now I'm not suggesting all advice and wisdom has to be universal. Just well thought out. Just because someone likes a sentiment doesn't mean it is a useful or helpful sentiment. Often it is just a reflection of a place we used to be in. An example of a connection to a past which no longer exists.
So next time you see a 30 great quotes web page or someone posts something on Facebook, look at them and wonder to yourself does it mean anything? does it help me now? In the end that's what you need it for and maybe it would be nice to reflect on how nice it would be if things could be that simple.
Friday, 15 June 2012
This Could Get Messy -- God and Living
I'm really appreciating how young I am instead of feeling like an old bastard (damn you uni). I look at my life and I SO don't have anything together yet. The realisation came however that, that's fine, I'm young. Hell, I look around me and I can't recognise any other people my age who have it together. Not even those whom are married and have kids or are looking to get married and all of that. We all have our things. It is truly amazing. This isn't even a comparison issue either. It doesn't make any difference whether I'm more or less together than you, or him, or her, or them! I think that is my favourite bit. It just stops at, 'I don't have it all together yet'. I don't know if you ever do have it together or perhaps you get it together and lose it again. Honestly none of that matters. I'm fine with not being together now. Some people might say that is living in the moment.
I'm not really sure what living in the moment is. When someone says it I think I know what they are talking about however it is one of those things that so many talk about. People preach the virtues of living in the moment, yet it seems so few do it. Obviously not that great. Or so stupidly difficult that most people can never hope to achieve. I also wonder about the whole YOLO thing, You Only Live Once (or You Obviously Like Owls, thank you Jeph Jacques at Questionable Content). People use it as a justification to do some of the stupidest things. If anything it is a reason to live cautiously.
There are many schools of thought on this. Most of the monotheists believe in some sort of life after death and it will be good, as long as you believe what they tell you to believe. The others more of a reincarnation thing. I mean in each of these you really can do what you like cause they will let you either have another try or you go into the big vast void of paradise. If you are a true atheist however, or refute the concept of after life then you in essence have two options really. It's not really this simple but for ease of concept. You can either go, 'fuck this', eat fuck drink sleep do what you like as long as if fits within that personal code of ethics or live like this is all you ever got and it is your one chance to do something. Generally people slide between the two of those. True atheism the belief in nothing, in nothing but probability and chance scares me. I don't like Karma, people rarely get what they deserve and the monotheistic religions concern me in their exclusivity.
For your information I grew up in a christian household the eldest son of ministers. My folks however are a little unorthodox in their beliefs and that's about all I can tell you about what they believe. I however, am bitter and cynical about churches and the people involved with them. My problem mostly stems from the way they prioritise things according to if I serve church, I am therefore serving God. It is a dangerous way to be. This isn't a conscious thought either. I found that there should be a much greater emphasis on people. Don't go to church or something churchie at the expense of seeing a secular friend. Don't go to a weekly group because that is 'serving God', instead of your friends birthday (yes this did happen). That is where religion has made its greatest mistake I think. The concept that I must put God first and I find God at church or church things or that somehow it is easier to find God there. Particularly for Christianity. This secular idea of God where it is outside of you and your life, so you either do God or you do human, and with the traditional doctrine of original sin you are generally wanting to do things which god does not like, cause you are bad.
I really struggled with that and as such I reject too much. Babies and bathwater you know. Atheism scares the shit out of me and I think the translation and re translation of holy books has been so muddied that true meaning is lost. There are still some truly wonderful and beautiful things in them. The song of Soloman is a fantastic example of erotic literature. I struggle with these things and the champions of their causes. You may read that I like a balance a bit of left and right and I don't think this is any different. The other option is the justification for there being few true believers. Anyway that's a thought for another time this is already really long. I really hope I don't spark some great debate between people or insight too much unfair criticisms of my ideas. They are thoughts ever changing and moving from one moment to the next. I live across all of them and I pick the ones that suit me at the time. I'll talk to you guys soon.
James
Links: Twitter
And something that changed some of the styles of my thinking... God's Debris
P.S. I'm sorry I am not a better writer who is better able to convey and explain ideas which are probably exceptionally confusing.
I'm not really sure what living in the moment is. When someone says it I think I know what they are talking about however it is one of those things that so many talk about. People preach the virtues of living in the moment, yet it seems so few do it. Obviously not that great. Or so stupidly difficult that most people can never hope to achieve. I also wonder about the whole YOLO thing, You Only Live Once (or You Obviously Like Owls, thank you Jeph Jacques at Questionable Content). People use it as a justification to do some of the stupidest things. If anything it is a reason to live cautiously.
There are many schools of thought on this. Most of the monotheists believe in some sort of life after death and it will be good, as long as you believe what they tell you to believe. The others more of a reincarnation thing. I mean in each of these you really can do what you like cause they will let you either have another try or you go into the big vast void of paradise. If you are a true atheist however, or refute the concept of after life then you in essence have two options really. It's not really this simple but for ease of concept. You can either go, 'fuck this', eat fuck drink sleep do what you like as long as if fits within that personal code of ethics or live like this is all you ever got and it is your one chance to do something. Generally people slide between the two of those. True atheism the belief in nothing, in nothing but probability and chance scares me. I don't like Karma, people rarely get what they deserve and the monotheistic religions concern me in their exclusivity.
For your information I grew up in a christian household the eldest son of ministers. My folks however are a little unorthodox in their beliefs and that's about all I can tell you about what they believe. I however, am bitter and cynical about churches and the people involved with them. My problem mostly stems from the way they prioritise things according to if I serve church, I am therefore serving God. It is a dangerous way to be. This isn't a conscious thought either. I found that there should be a much greater emphasis on people. Don't go to church or something churchie at the expense of seeing a secular friend. Don't go to a weekly group because that is 'serving God', instead of your friends birthday (yes this did happen). That is where religion has made its greatest mistake I think. The concept that I must put God first and I find God at church or church things or that somehow it is easier to find God there. Particularly for Christianity. This secular idea of God where it is outside of you and your life, so you either do God or you do human, and with the traditional doctrine of original sin you are generally wanting to do things which god does not like, cause you are bad.
I really struggled with that and as such I reject too much. Babies and bathwater you know. Atheism scares the shit out of me and I think the translation and re translation of holy books has been so muddied that true meaning is lost. There are still some truly wonderful and beautiful things in them. The song of Soloman is a fantastic example of erotic literature. I struggle with these things and the champions of their causes. You may read that I like a balance a bit of left and right and I don't think this is any different. The other option is the justification for there being few true believers. Anyway that's a thought for another time this is already really long. I really hope I don't spark some great debate between people or insight too much unfair criticisms of my ideas. They are thoughts ever changing and moving from one moment to the next. I live across all of them and I pick the ones that suit me at the time. I'll talk to you guys soon.
James
Links: Twitter
And something that changed some of the styles of my thinking... God's Debris
P.S. I'm sorry I am not a better writer who is better able to convey and explain ideas which are probably exceptionally confusing.
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