So with my last piece I wrote that we should all strive to tell the truth no matter what. It is a simple, almost overtly obvious statement that perhaps needs some further examination. It is both necessary and powerful. In fact Alekandr Solzhenitsyn asserted that if people had refused to lie, if they had just been honest about what was happening many, many people would have been spared in Russia. This is the man who is touted as responsible for destroying the moral credibility of the Soviet Union; of ending any credibility in Marxist doctrine. For when you are promised utopia all manner of sacrifice is permitted and no evil too great to get that which is promised. With one great book he ended a tyranny. The thing is what is truth?
This is where things get far more confusing. As anyone who may have witnessed a trial, or argued with a child, or argued with a friend, colleague or family member. Each perspective has it's own truth and we are seeing these playing out all the time on social media, in politics, and general conversation. In particular it would appear that the left and the right seem to be further from each other if not in goals but in methods. For all of the exclusion and inequality of the right, the 20th century was a lesson in the dangers of the far left. We all know that the path forward is not through either/or but rather the dialogue between the two. As the dialogue occurs we can further understanding. Understanding comes from listening not speaking; something far too many oft seem to forget.
It is this understanding that it seems we have forgotten to value. Whilst trigger warnings and being PC may protect some peoples feelings you may find it hard to locate a psychologist who would advocate for avoiding that which causes you discomfort. Rather, they would suggest that you should face your fears, not because they will make your fear less, but teach you that you are tough and strong and far more capable than you realize. That is not to say that we should all be out facing down what we are still coming to terms with. You must ask how concerned are you really that other peoples words may take hold in your heart that you must banish the sight of them. How little do you think of those around you that they would be so easily swayed but that which is undesirable. The truth of others is often undesirable and thus the importance of free speech. For people will think what they think regardless of what they say and that is what matters!
It is probably not possible to give a value to the positive effects of free speech. It is incomprehensibly important to modern society, thinking, values, culture, politics, etc, etc. Unfortunately that means people will say things we don't like. Not that we have to listen, or give credence but there is still a right to speak. And speak we should for as we have established one should speak the truth, quietly and clearly. Senator Hanson has a right to be heard, for not all she says is bad, Mr Trump has a right to say what he likes, for he sees the frustration of the people with a broken system. However, when our leaders and our peers can lie with impunity the system has become corrupt and is in need in redemption, for without it will surely lead to destruction and chaos. So listen and think. Come to a greater understanding. That is where you can make change, that is where you can make things better.
I hope that helps.
Showing posts with label Blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Blog. Show all posts
Tuesday, 27 September 2016
Sunday, 4 September 2016
The World Keeps Spinning -- Long Time No See
The title really says it all, well not it all or there would be no need to type the rest. The thing is regardless of what anyone does the world will keep spinning. There are many things that have nearly and continue nearly threaten to overwhelm human existence on the planet and yet here we are still creating and consuming, bickering and anxious, sleeping, eating and going about the rest of our biological functions.
That is probably why these great threats are so distant. Regardless of their potential impact we don't really see the implication until too late. Certainly there is a certain propensity in western cultures, we punish the deed based on the outcome not the intent; and so it should be in many ways. Although perhaps not entirely. As such we have people being freed when they should be held, held when the should be freed and imminent global catastrophe.
These aren't all new concerns mind, the 20th century certainly gave us a taste. Our technology is now at such a place that we could, if so inclined to, end us all (or near enough that it makes little difference). It is obvious to me, and it should be to you, that we should not do that but rather strive to make the world a better place by acting meaningfully and with great purpose in all that we do.
Having said that I am not blind to the difficulties, many of us work multiple jobs and then try to make time for our health, friends, family, hobby and then we should try to better ourselves on top of that? People are definitely finite creatures which by all accounts run better with some sleep. So how do we go about this?
I have spent the past six months to learning about the history of the world and nature of humanity. Whilst much of it is quite dark it is not without hope. This is something that is most important to take from this. Whilst the Nazis tried to improve through biological selection, the Communists through a misplaced quest for utopia and the capitalists through an unending quest for the maximum for the minimum, there is a need for dialogue in all things.
Remember that conservatives do as the name suggests, the conserve things as they were and the status quo. Their argument is a good one for it does seem to work for the most part, but they are hindered by the structure. It does not bend and is what it is. Many are lost to the outside of the structure and those inside lack the perspective to see the tower for what it is.
Those on the left are just as misguided however. For they only know what they don't want and developing new systems are hard. Most systems are quite ancient and should only be disregarded with great care and consideration. The truth of course is somewhere in the middle and there in lies the need for dialogue and conversation. For whilst most of what is said is absurd and useless within is the nugget of gold hidden by the mountain. This gold is far more valuable than mere metal. It is what we all strive for, that which is glorified for itself and banishes all darkness before it.
So regardless of where you sit, do that one simple but difficult thing. Tell the truth.
That is probably why these great threats are so distant. Regardless of their potential impact we don't really see the implication until too late. Certainly there is a certain propensity in western cultures, we punish the deed based on the outcome not the intent; and so it should be in many ways. Although perhaps not entirely. As such we have people being freed when they should be held, held when the should be freed and imminent global catastrophe.
These aren't all new concerns mind, the 20th century certainly gave us a taste. Our technology is now at such a place that we could, if so inclined to, end us all (or near enough that it makes little difference). It is obvious to me, and it should be to you, that we should not do that but rather strive to make the world a better place by acting meaningfully and with great purpose in all that we do.
Having said that I am not blind to the difficulties, many of us work multiple jobs and then try to make time for our health, friends, family, hobby and then we should try to better ourselves on top of that? People are definitely finite creatures which by all accounts run better with some sleep. So how do we go about this?
I have spent the past six months to learning about the history of the world and nature of humanity. Whilst much of it is quite dark it is not without hope. This is something that is most important to take from this. Whilst the Nazis tried to improve through biological selection, the Communists through a misplaced quest for utopia and the capitalists through an unending quest for the maximum for the minimum, there is a need for dialogue in all things.
Remember that conservatives do as the name suggests, the conserve things as they were and the status quo. Their argument is a good one for it does seem to work for the most part, but they are hindered by the structure. It does not bend and is what it is. Many are lost to the outside of the structure and those inside lack the perspective to see the tower for what it is.
Those on the left are just as misguided however. For they only know what they don't want and developing new systems are hard. Most systems are quite ancient and should only be disregarded with great care and consideration. The truth of course is somewhere in the middle and there in lies the need for dialogue and conversation. For whilst most of what is said is absurd and useless within is the nugget of gold hidden by the mountain. This gold is far more valuable than mere metal. It is what we all strive for, that which is glorified for itself and banishes all darkness before it.
So regardless of where you sit, do that one simple but difficult thing. Tell the truth.
Thursday, 22 November 2012
Inspiring Fear -- Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!
It is funny how fears can creep up on you. Things that you don't contemplate because you never saw them coming, or because you don't contemplate much. The thing is fear is often based in the future, on something that may or may not happen. These worries this stress isn't really necessary.
Fear of itself is not a good reason to not doing anything. If I had to list things that becoming a man or woman, an adult was about it would be doing things despite being afraid. That is not to say go out and do stupid shit but more to challenge oneself in the boundaries you set to make sure you keep striving and journeying towards being a better human being. Fear will prevent this. Fear is in fact very good at preventing growth because it is so very easy to rationalise. Fears are often based in good places. "I'm not jumping because this is the eight stories high". But maybe from this eighth floor there is a giant water slide and it would be perfectly safe and awesome fun. Sometimes there are good and great things that we cannot see because we are afraid.
Be smart in where you push but keep pushing. Even if no one else thinks you're great you can because you will be more of a person than you were yesterday, more human. Take journeys with people and grow and learn and experience. You don't need to have great recognition to do great things. You just have to do them.
Fear of itself is not a good reason to not doing anything. If I had to list things that becoming a man or woman, an adult was about it would be doing things despite being afraid. That is not to say go out and do stupid shit but more to challenge oneself in the boundaries you set to make sure you keep striving and journeying towards being a better human being. Fear will prevent this. Fear is in fact very good at preventing growth because it is so very easy to rationalise. Fears are often based in good places. "I'm not jumping because this is the eight stories high". But maybe from this eighth floor there is a giant water slide and it would be perfectly safe and awesome fun. Sometimes there are good and great things that we cannot see because we are afraid.
Be smart in where you push but keep pushing. Even if no one else thinks you're great you can because you will be more of a person than you were yesterday, more human. Take journeys with people and grow and learn and experience. You don't need to have great recognition to do great things. You just have to do them.
Thursday, 8 November 2012
Hopeful - Looking here and now and forward
Organised belief systems absolve responsibility. That's it, it has been said. One of the big unrealised issues with belief and my problem with religions. "I failed this, got fired by blah or was mean to this person because God/Zeus/Cat/Caboose wanted it this way". That is so not OK. You failed/fired cause you didn't do the work. You were mean because you were projecting your ideals and ideas onto someone else or you straight up just don't care enough to let them be them. As time goes by empirical thinking has been harder to ignore, it provides a foundation to learn so much. Reconcile that you don't know everything or rather nearly anything, you know what you know however and that is also such a vast amount. How to communicate, language and social behaviour then there is everything that you have learnt over time from school and family and friends! The sheer knowledge we have gained is astounding and yet there is always more. Is that not wonderful?
This blog has been inspired by uni exams and the fact that Prof. Brian Cox is on the radio and I happen to be on the train. For those who aren't familiar with Brian Cox he is a exceptionally clever man with a couple doctorates specialising in particle physics and astrophysics. He was also in a moderately famous pop band. "Thingggssss, can only get betterrrr..." Yeah that one. Just there is so much hope for humanity if just we could step outside ourselves for a bit. There are so many wonders that inspire. We can't ignore politics, whether US or Australian and pop culture is exceptionally prevalent it is inescapable but at the same time these things are inspiring in many ways. Except Nicki Minaj, she still is is disgrace to all things art.
So with only 1 important exam left after today and a bludge one after that what am I looking to do with my time. See and spend time with friends gathering experiences and learning. I'm gonna make some youtube videos again, although probably not vlog type ones, make some music, continue with piano and guitar. Work as well. Set some things right.
Lets see how that goes hey!
This blog has been inspired by uni exams and the fact that Prof. Brian Cox is on the radio and I happen to be on the train. For those who aren't familiar with Brian Cox he is a exceptionally clever man with a couple doctorates specialising in particle physics and astrophysics. He was also in a moderately famous pop band. "Thingggssss, can only get betterrrr..." Yeah that one. Just there is so much hope for humanity if just we could step outside ourselves for a bit. There are so many wonders that inspire. We can't ignore politics, whether US or Australian and pop culture is exceptionally prevalent it is inescapable but at the same time these things are inspiring in many ways. Except Nicki Minaj, she still is is disgrace to all things art.
So with only 1 important exam left after today and a bludge one after that what am I looking to do with my time. See and spend time with friends gathering experiences and learning. I'm gonna make some youtube videos again, although probably not vlog type ones, make some music, continue with piano and guitar. Work as well. Set some things right.
Lets see how that goes hey!
Saturday, 22 September 2012
Collections of Scatters -- Disconnected Thoughts, Worries
So here are a few of the thoughts that have started for me recently but failed to develop into whole posts. Then there will some stuff about where I have been in my head just recently.
Post 1
People are both stronger and more fragile than they appear. This is concerning. It may have been mentioned before that I'm not the nicest guy around and I stick to this regardless of how things may appear. There are a few reasons for this and most of them are to do with making choices.When presented with a situation there is generally the feeling of this is what we believe is the right choice to make. The problem lies when someone refuses to make that choice. Not makes a mistake of judgement but rather decides to do something else.
Post 2
Music has been strange recently, hasn't it? Seriously Call Me Maybe on the back of Friday and now Gangnam Style. Finding more and more people rejecting 'artist's' such as Nicki Minaj. It has been rather fascinating watching the changes and where they might go next. Independent music has been on the up and up. It seems more and more that commercial radio is being phased out and being replaced by people downloading and playing their own. Now with the horrible percentage of ads removed could this possibly change. Or is this one giant mistake and illusion based on demographics and familiarity. Have things maybe always been like this?
The Last Week
Recently I've been fighting the depression that is my... constant struggle? I don't really know how to describe it. I mean I fight with myself trying to instil a believe of self worth. The annoying thing is that I'm not sure what it is all about. Just that there be a lack of some chemical in my head and I have to try really hard to change it. I mean really none of that is even confirmed. Just I recognize it as what it is and try to deal with it. It is hard though to encourage yourself when you don't believe a word of it. That I think is why I certainly find value in human interactions. This isn't supposed to manipulate anyone who reads this overly but rather a way of me expressing my struggles.
And it is a struggle. Regardless I'm worried. I'm worried that I'm not in the right place that I've missed some mystical choice that would put me somewhere that I'm supposed to be. The idea is foreign, foolish. Crazy I am where I am and that is the way of things yet it worries me. I have been making poor choice and this is no excuse but it does exacerbate (make worse) things. Not really a fan of that lost sensation. Still nearly time for me to go celebrate a birthday. I really hope I don't fail them as well.
Post 1
People are both stronger and more fragile than they appear. This is concerning. It may have been mentioned before that I'm not the nicest guy around and I stick to this regardless of how things may appear. There are a few reasons for this and most of them are to do with making choices.When presented with a situation there is generally the feeling of this is what we believe is the right choice to make. The problem lies when someone refuses to make that choice. Not makes a mistake of judgement but rather decides to do something else.
Post 2
Music has been strange recently, hasn't it? Seriously Call Me Maybe on the back of Friday and now Gangnam Style. Finding more and more people rejecting 'artist's' such as Nicki Minaj. It has been rather fascinating watching the changes and where they might go next. Independent music has been on the up and up. It seems more and more that commercial radio is being phased out and being replaced by people downloading and playing their own. Now with the horrible percentage of ads removed could this possibly change. Or is this one giant mistake and illusion based on demographics and familiarity. Have things maybe always been like this?
The Last Week
Recently I've been fighting the depression that is my... constant struggle? I don't really know how to describe it. I mean I fight with myself trying to instil a believe of self worth. The annoying thing is that I'm not sure what it is all about. Just that there be a lack of some chemical in my head and I have to try really hard to change it. I mean really none of that is even confirmed. Just I recognize it as what it is and try to deal with it. It is hard though to encourage yourself when you don't believe a word of it. That I think is why I certainly find value in human interactions. This isn't supposed to manipulate anyone who reads this overly but rather a way of me expressing my struggles.
And it is a struggle. Regardless I'm worried. I'm worried that I'm not in the right place that I've missed some mystical choice that would put me somewhere that I'm supposed to be. The idea is foreign, foolish. Crazy I am where I am and that is the way of things yet it worries me. I have been making poor choice and this is no excuse but it does exacerbate (make worse) things. Not really a fan of that lost sensation. Still nearly time for me to go celebrate a birthday. I really hope I don't fail them as well.
Tuesday, 31 July 2012
Poets, Biology and Psychcology -- It's a Beautiful World
Halfway through year eleven was when poetry changed. Approximately mid 2005 that would be. It went from something meaningless a pointless object of study to something more. Eloquence is important eloquence adds something beautiful to otherwise purely functional language, language that would not make a whole lot of sense. The way writers would construct words and meanings from seemingly unrelated tangents and images. The imagining that goes into it was; is wonderful. The study of poetry, still nearly meaningless though. The power of imagination is truly astounding.
Current thoughts in regards to the workings of people propose the idea that our brains, which receive electrical signals, use that information to construct what we see, hear, smell, etc. That information has still gone from the 'real' world and been converted to digital. As with all ADC's (Analogue to Digital Converter) there is signal loss. Still our brains create this amazing world. This detailed, beautiful and amazing world that we are part of. We imagine this! How great is that. It is however altered by our perceptions of the information we receive. Analogies and personification lending meaning because of our understanding of non-literal ideas. A perception of a reality that we refuse to believe lending meaning to an eloquence seldom achieved by the layman.
The same applies to memories. Did you know our brains fill in gaps for information we don't have as long as they have evidence of an event. Sorry there is no reference but there was a study done of people who had been to Disney land five years after they had. At an interview at this time they were all shown a picture of themselves with Bugs Bunny. 80% of people claimed they remembered having the photo taken... But Bugs Bunny is a Warner Bros. character. It is important to remember this. Living in memories, living in the past is a dangerous place to be. But when I go outside, the Botanical garden are right there, this is a centre of learning full of potential, of hope, of youth and wisdom. This is a beautiful world. Poets are right to write of love and beauty and loss so we remember that the bad will come but this moment too will pass.
Current thoughts in regards to the workings of people propose the idea that our brains, which receive electrical signals, use that information to construct what we see, hear, smell, etc. That information has still gone from the 'real' world and been converted to digital. As with all ADC's (Analogue to Digital Converter) there is signal loss. Still our brains create this amazing world. This detailed, beautiful and amazing world that we are part of. We imagine this! How great is that. It is however altered by our perceptions of the information we receive. Analogies and personification lending meaning because of our understanding of non-literal ideas. A perception of a reality that we refuse to believe lending meaning to an eloquence seldom achieved by the layman.
The same applies to memories. Did you know our brains fill in gaps for information we don't have as long as they have evidence of an event. Sorry there is no reference but there was a study done of people who had been to Disney land five years after they had. At an interview at this time they were all shown a picture of themselves with Bugs Bunny. 80% of people claimed they remembered having the photo taken... But Bugs Bunny is a Warner Bros. character. It is important to remember this. Living in memories, living in the past is a dangerous place to be. But when I go outside, the Botanical garden are right there, this is a centre of learning full of potential, of hope, of youth and wisdom. This is a beautiful world. Poets are right to write of love and beauty and loss so we remember that the bad will come but this moment too will pass.
Friday, 15 June 2012
This Could Get Messy -- God and Living
I'm really appreciating how young I am instead of feeling like an old bastard (damn you uni). I look at my life and I SO don't have anything together yet. The realisation came however that, that's fine, I'm young. Hell, I look around me and I can't recognise any other people my age who have it together. Not even those whom are married and have kids or are looking to get married and all of that. We all have our things. It is truly amazing. This isn't even a comparison issue either. It doesn't make any difference whether I'm more or less together than you, or him, or her, or them! I think that is my favourite bit. It just stops at, 'I don't have it all together yet'. I don't know if you ever do have it together or perhaps you get it together and lose it again. Honestly none of that matters. I'm fine with not being together now. Some people might say that is living in the moment.
I'm not really sure what living in the moment is. When someone says it I think I know what they are talking about however it is one of those things that so many talk about. People preach the virtues of living in the moment, yet it seems so few do it. Obviously not that great. Or so stupidly difficult that most people can never hope to achieve. I also wonder about the whole YOLO thing, You Only Live Once (or You Obviously Like Owls, thank you Jeph Jacques at Questionable Content). People use it as a justification to do some of the stupidest things. If anything it is a reason to live cautiously.
There are many schools of thought on this. Most of the monotheists believe in some sort of life after death and it will be good, as long as you believe what they tell you to believe. The others more of a reincarnation thing. I mean in each of these you really can do what you like cause they will let you either have another try or you go into the big vast void of paradise. If you are a true atheist however, or refute the concept of after life then you in essence have two options really. It's not really this simple but for ease of concept. You can either go, 'fuck this', eat fuck drink sleep do what you like as long as if fits within that personal code of ethics or live like this is all you ever got and it is your one chance to do something. Generally people slide between the two of those. True atheism the belief in nothing, in nothing but probability and chance scares me. I don't like Karma, people rarely get what they deserve and the monotheistic religions concern me in their exclusivity.
For your information I grew up in a christian household the eldest son of ministers. My folks however are a little unorthodox in their beliefs and that's about all I can tell you about what they believe. I however, am bitter and cynical about churches and the people involved with them. My problem mostly stems from the way they prioritise things according to if I serve church, I am therefore serving God. It is a dangerous way to be. This isn't a conscious thought either. I found that there should be a much greater emphasis on people. Don't go to church or something churchie at the expense of seeing a secular friend. Don't go to a weekly group because that is 'serving God', instead of your friends birthday (yes this did happen). That is where religion has made its greatest mistake I think. The concept that I must put God first and I find God at church or church things or that somehow it is easier to find God there. Particularly for Christianity. This secular idea of God where it is outside of you and your life, so you either do God or you do human, and with the traditional doctrine of original sin you are generally wanting to do things which god does not like, cause you are bad.
I really struggled with that and as such I reject too much. Babies and bathwater you know. Atheism scares the shit out of me and I think the translation and re translation of holy books has been so muddied that true meaning is lost. There are still some truly wonderful and beautiful things in them. The song of Soloman is a fantastic example of erotic literature. I struggle with these things and the champions of their causes. You may read that I like a balance a bit of left and right and I don't think this is any different. The other option is the justification for there being few true believers. Anyway that's a thought for another time this is already really long. I really hope I don't spark some great debate between people or insight too much unfair criticisms of my ideas. They are thoughts ever changing and moving from one moment to the next. I live across all of them and I pick the ones that suit me at the time. I'll talk to you guys soon.
James
Links: Twitter
And something that changed some of the styles of my thinking... God's Debris
P.S. I'm sorry I am not a better writer who is better able to convey and explain ideas which are probably exceptionally confusing.
I'm not really sure what living in the moment is. When someone says it I think I know what they are talking about however it is one of those things that so many talk about. People preach the virtues of living in the moment, yet it seems so few do it. Obviously not that great. Or so stupidly difficult that most people can never hope to achieve. I also wonder about the whole YOLO thing, You Only Live Once (or You Obviously Like Owls, thank you Jeph Jacques at Questionable Content). People use it as a justification to do some of the stupidest things. If anything it is a reason to live cautiously.
There are many schools of thought on this. Most of the monotheists believe in some sort of life after death and it will be good, as long as you believe what they tell you to believe. The others more of a reincarnation thing. I mean in each of these you really can do what you like cause they will let you either have another try or you go into the big vast void of paradise. If you are a true atheist however, or refute the concept of after life then you in essence have two options really. It's not really this simple but for ease of concept. You can either go, 'fuck this', eat fuck drink sleep do what you like as long as if fits within that personal code of ethics or live like this is all you ever got and it is your one chance to do something. Generally people slide between the two of those. True atheism the belief in nothing, in nothing but probability and chance scares me. I don't like Karma, people rarely get what they deserve and the monotheistic religions concern me in their exclusivity.
For your information I grew up in a christian household the eldest son of ministers. My folks however are a little unorthodox in their beliefs and that's about all I can tell you about what they believe. I however, am bitter and cynical about churches and the people involved with them. My problem mostly stems from the way they prioritise things according to if I serve church, I am therefore serving God. It is a dangerous way to be. This isn't a conscious thought either. I found that there should be a much greater emphasis on people. Don't go to church or something churchie at the expense of seeing a secular friend. Don't go to a weekly group because that is 'serving God', instead of your friends birthday (yes this did happen). That is where religion has made its greatest mistake I think. The concept that I must put God first and I find God at church or church things or that somehow it is easier to find God there. Particularly for Christianity. This secular idea of God where it is outside of you and your life, so you either do God or you do human, and with the traditional doctrine of original sin you are generally wanting to do things which god does not like, cause you are bad.
I really struggled with that and as such I reject too much. Babies and bathwater you know. Atheism scares the shit out of me and I think the translation and re translation of holy books has been so muddied that true meaning is lost. There are still some truly wonderful and beautiful things in them. The song of Soloman is a fantastic example of erotic literature. I struggle with these things and the champions of their causes. You may read that I like a balance a bit of left and right and I don't think this is any different. The other option is the justification for there being few true believers. Anyway that's a thought for another time this is already really long. I really hope I don't spark some great debate between people or insight too much unfair criticisms of my ideas. They are thoughts ever changing and moving from one moment to the next. I live across all of them and I pick the ones that suit me at the time. I'll talk to you guys soon.
James
Links: Twitter
And something that changed some of the styles of my thinking... God's Debris
P.S. I'm sorry I am not a better writer who is better able to convey and explain ideas which are probably exceptionally confusing.
Wednesday, 6 June 2012
Learning and Improving -- Compentence or Incompentence?
I'm not sure how we are supposed to take something things. Things happen and then how do we deal with them? What is the next step? What I find more concerning is, 'where I find the answer to that question?'
Do we look to the Internet? Well, maybe for some things but do you think the Internet is the best place for advice, dating advice or on dealing with that other obscure hypothetical situation that is really happening. Do we look at TV and movies? I sincerely hope people don't look at Hollywood but I would imagine it is a little truer than most of us would care to admit. However in favour of Hollywood it would certainly make life easier to know that one day your prince charming will come or the girl next door will turn out to fall in love with the slightly awkward, smart and you know the drill... Is there redeeming TV? I suppose books might have some answers but I don't think I've really seen lasting self help books. It all sounds well and good but only ever a small amount of it lasts, but you did a lot of reading for seemingly just a small fraction of a change. One sentence different from a book of hundreds of pages that is your life.
However maybe that is how it goes. Maybe it's not all about making changes now about altering my life's course, not dodging the ice burgs rather gently brushing... well maybe that's a bad example. Still small little adjustments one at a time. Does this work? When confronted by something can I kinda go, 'yeah', and stay basically the same just subtly changing; so much so it is hardly noticeable.
My point was mostly that I'm not sure how well this stuff works. I don't know if any of it works if some is better or much really. Where do we get this experience from? I rather like self analysis (in healthy form) however how do you know you're analysing right? This was all sparked by this article I read about whether someone who is truly incompetent can know they are in fact incompetent. It carries on saying how to self evaluate you need to be somewhat competent. So the again how could the incompetent know they are incompetent? In fact it is often shown that people who are incompetent thing they are most defiantly competent. So am I good at knowing how to change myself for the better? Am I a competent human being? Can be a better one? Or am I kidding myself?
I think I'm doing not too bad a job.
P.S. Article for your perusal, I thought it was interesting.
P.P.S. Twitter I'm still working on using it.
Do we look to the Internet? Well, maybe for some things but do you think the Internet is the best place for advice, dating advice or on dealing with that other obscure hypothetical situation that is really happening. Do we look at TV and movies? I sincerely hope people don't look at Hollywood but I would imagine it is a little truer than most of us would care to admit. However in favour of Hollywood it would certainly make life easier to know that one day your prince charming will come or the girl next door will turn out to fall in love with the slightly awkward, smart and you know the drill... Is there redeeming TV? I suppose books might have some answers but I don't think I've really seen lasting self help books. It all sounds well and good but only ever a small amount of it lasts, but you did a lot of reading for seemingly just a small fraction of a change. One sentence different from a book of hundreds of pages that is your life.
However maybe that is how it goes. Maybe it's not all about making changes now about altering my life's course, not dodging the ice burgs rather gently brushing... well maybe that's a bad example. Still small little adjustments one at a time. Does this work? When confronted by something can I kinda go, 'yeah', and stay basically the same just subtly changing; so much so it is hardly noticeable.
My point was mostly that I'm not sure how well this stuff works. I don't know if any of it works if some is better or much really. Where do we get this experience from? I rather like self analysis (in healthy form) however how do you know you're analysing right? This was all sparked by this article I read about whether someone who is truly incompetent can know they are in fact incompetent. It carries on saying how to self evaluate you need to be somewhat competent. So the again how could the incompetent know they are incompetent? In fact it is often shown that people who are incompetent thing they are most defiantly competent. So am I good at knowing how to change myself for the better? Am I a competent human being? Can be a better one? Or am I kidding myself?
I think I'm doing not too bad a job.
P.S. Article for your perusal, I thought it was interesting.
P.P.S. Twitter I'm still working on using it.
Tuesday, 8 May 2012
I'm OK -- Arts and Mediocrity
I'm not sure about a lot of things. I try to make things as black and white as I can, it's easier to deal with them that way. I know they are not and I know that can limit things in many ways. Recently I have in my rather limited spare thinking time been mulling over art, what people consider art, what meaning does this art have and what constitutes art. I was tempted to write those arts down as 'art' to try and show the lose meaning of the term but I think you guys have got that one.
The point of this is that I love music and I go to art galleries on occasion and half the things I hear and see have about as much meaning to me as a the scratched graffiti on the train I'm on. There is quite probably a strong argument that the majority of music in the top 40 has no meaning what so ever. To take a look at the most popular Miss Minaj...
"I get it cracking like a bad back
Bitch talkin' she the queen, when she looking like a lab rat
I'm Angelina, you Jennifer
Come on bitch, you see where Brad at
Ice my wrist's then I piss on bitches
You can suck my diznik if you take this jizzes
You don't like them disses, give my ass some kisses
Yeah they know what this is, givin this the business
Cause I pull up and I'm stuntin' but I aint a stuntman"
Like really?! This drivel is mainstream pop music. Something that is still often considered part of the arts? How does this further anything or anyone. Self-aggrandising bullshit. It has little meaning, does it make me look at things in a different light? Maybe, but I don't think it's an overly helpful light. The thing that gets me is there are some truly talented people out there but we are drowned by mediocrity. When did it become good to be just OK.
Y0u ask people what they think of things and they say it was OK. That's not good enough. Passes are often 50% since when is it OK to propagate a position based on half accurate data, I'm thankful for 50% and there is always space to improve but are we OK with half right? Surrounded and drowning in mediocrity where things strive to be OK. Each human has so much potential there is no reason why others can't do as I have. I'm not anything special really. With the exceptions of the truly upper limits most of us are fit in that bell curve and we can move in that curve. I don't know if there is any limit to my potential. If I was a little less lazy and a little more organised I'd move in my curve for sure. I'd be more, I'd be better. In the meantime I suppose I am who I am and well I could try harder. Would like to work out why I don't. Why I'm not a better person. If there are answers to such things.
I think this is why there is art. As an idea of a moment. The moment around a feeling, a scene, an idea, a time. Something that we feared and in our awe were taken in its rapture. The pain, the beauty, the wonder. All of these things are so much the maths doesn't do it justice. I wish some of the stuff out there wasn't ok.
The point of this is that I love music and I go to art galleries on occasion and half the things I hear and see have about as much meaning to me as a the scratched graffiti on the train I'm on. There is quite probably a strong argument that the majority of music in the top 40 has no meaning what so ever. To take a look at the most popular Miss Minaj...
"I get it cracking like a bad back
Bitch talkin' she the queen, when she looking like a lab rat
I'm Angelina, you Jennifer
Come on bitch, you see where Brad at
Ice my wrist's then I piss on bitches
You can suck my diznik if you take this jizzes
You don't like them disses, give my ass some kisses
Yeah they know what this is, givin this the business
Cause I pull up and I'm stuntin' but I aint a stuntman"
Like really?! This drivel is mainstream pop music. Something that is still often considered part of the arts? How does this further anything or anyone. Self-aggrandising bullshit. It has little meaning, does it make me look at things in a different light? Maybe, but I don't think it's an overly helpful light. The thing that gets me is there are some truly talented people out there but we are drowned by mediocrity. When did it become good to be just OK.
Y0u ask people what they think of things and they say it was OK. That's not good enough. Passes are often 50% since when is it OK to propagate a position based on half accurate data, I'm thankful for 50% and there is always space to improve but are we OK with half right? Surrounded and drowning in mediocrity where things strive to be OK. Each human has so much potential there is no reason why others can't do as I have. I'm not anything special really. With the exceptions of the truly upper limits most of us are fit in that bell curve and we can move in that curve. I don't know if there is any limit to my potential. If I was a little less lazy and a little more organised I'd move in my curve for sure. I'd be more, I'd be better. In the meantime I suppose I am who I am and well I could try harder. Would like to work out why I don't. Why I'm not a better person. If there are answers to such things.
I think this is why there is art. As an idea of a moment. The moment around a feeling, a scene, an idea, a time. Something that we feared and in our awe were taken in its rapture. The pain, the beauty, the wonder. All of these things are so much the maths doesn't do it justice. I wish some of the stuff out there wasn't ok.
Wednesday, 15 February 2012
Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back -- Scattered
This seems sometimes to be the way of things. The three steps forward, two steps back. Probably not accurate but there you go feelings have never been a good judge of anything. I have been thinking about a lot of things the last couple days although nothing with much clarity or focus. Thoughts bouncing round my head and out my ears before I can chain them down. Where things are going, what I'm doing about it? How to fix my car and practise all those things I've been doing and work too much and try keep/get fit? Then there are the unusual ones.
I really love the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann (link at the bottom) there are some great snippets in there. Particularly the bit about fears being brought on by fatigue and loneliness. Things seem more trouble, more painful and all around you have a little less patients when you're tired. I remind myself of it often. Sometimes I hope it is the truth. How much further can I push myself? I am sleeping better than I have for a long time. Well kinda.
Still tough days are tough. I've never liked Valentines day. I'm not a fan of most of the other Hallmark holidays either however I reserve a particular distaste for the fourteenth of February. I wont harp on about it, did that last time. I didn't do much though, worked, danced, drank and slept. All in all not a bad day at all. Today was much the same although I've only completed the working bit... So far
Essentially this one is about how scattered I have been the last few days. Not being able to pull together anything really helpful. I'm annoyed and angry and missing people and hurting. Despite it all I'm fairly contented just too busy to think too much about it. I don't think this is living in the moment like they talk about but I don't have much space for other things either. I don't have the space or the place to think anything really good right now. It is an interesting feeling. Being stretched like this. None of these things are out of control and yet...
Talk to you next time
Cheers Japetto
Desiderata - Max Ehrmann
http://www.lordtonymackenzie.com/desiderata.html
I really love the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann (link at the bottom) there are some great snippets in there. Particularly the bit about fears being brought on by fatigue and loneliness. Things seem more trouble, more painful and all around you have a little less patients when you're tired. I remind myself of it often. Sometimes I hope it is the truth. How much further can I push myself? I am sleeping better than I have for a long time. Well kinda.
Still tough days are tough. I've never liked Valentines day. I'm not a fan of most of the other Hallmark holidays either however I reserve a particular distaste for the fourteenth of February. I wont harp on about it, did that last time. I didn't do much though, worked, danced, drank and slept. All in all not a bad day at all. Today was much the same although I've only completed the working bit... So far
Essentially this one is about how scattered I have been the last few days. Not being able to pull together anything really helpful. I'm annoyed and angry and missing people and hurting. Despite it all I'm fairly contented just too busy to think too much about it. I don't think this is living in the moment like they talk about but I don't have much space for other things either. I don't have the space or the place to think anything really good right now. It is an interesting feeling. Being stretched like this. None of these things are out of control and yet...
Talk to you next time
Cheers Japetto
Desiderata - Max Ehrmann
http://www.lordtonymackenzie.com/desiderata.html
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
New things -- Variety learning.
I've always been very good at wanting to do many things. In fact I often say one day I will do x.y and z. Now this is all well and good but.
I'm pretty sure there are a number of people I've told about this who don't take me seriously. Hey, fair cop, pretty sure my track record up until this point is not fantastic.
This is not going to stay like this.
When I say I want to do something I'm damn well going to do it!
This isn't just a promise either.
I've started. I dance twice a week something I've said I want to do but never have until now. I'm 22 now! Also piano. I've loved music for many a year. I've tried playing drums and guitar. I even was moderately proficient at guitar for a little while. Then I put it down for three years. Anyway I've picked the guitar up and I practise. Not as much as I should be enough that there is slow improvement. I do like to play by ear, I can do it to an extent. But now. Yes now I have started piano and learning music. Real music! Just in a couple weeks I'm starting to recognise things. It's quite similar to starting to read I think. Something I haven't done for a long time!
There are other things I've said I'm going to do.
I just love learning new skills/abilities/shit. Here's a few;
Ride a horse,
Snowboard,
Saxophone (after piano and guitar)
I want to be someone who does what I say I'm going to. It may not be tomorrow or even this year but I really want to be that guy.
What do you want to do? Going to do it?
Cheers Japetto
I'm pretty sure there are a number of people I've told about this who don't take me seriously. Hey, fair cop, pretty sure my track record up until this point is not fantastic.
This is not going to stay like this.
When I say I want to do something I'm damn well going to do it!
This isn't just a promise either.
I've started. I dance twice a week something I've said I want to do but never have until now. I'm 22 now! Also piano. I've loved music for many a year. I've tried playing drums and guitar. I even was moderately proficient at guitar for a little while. Then I put it down for three years. Anyway I've picked the guitar up and I practise. Not as much as I should be enough that there is slow improvement. I do like to play by ear, I can do it to an extent. But now. Yes now I have started piano and learning music. Real music! Just in a couple weeks I'm starting to recognise things. It's quite similar to starting to read I think. Something I haven't done for a long time!
There are other things I've said I'm going to do.
I just love learning new skills/abilities/shit. Here's a few;
Ride a horse,
Snowboard,
Saxophone (after piano and guitar)
I want to be someone who does what I say I'm going to. It may not be tomorrow or even this year but I really want to be that guy.
What do you want to do? Going to do it?
Cheers Japetto
Wednesday, 25 January 2012
Singles Awareness Day -- Differentiation.
Up coming is Single Awareness Day (SAD) AKA February 14th AKA Valentines Day (thank you Scarlet). This little event got me thinking, although, maybe not in the way you might think it would.
Now I don't really have a problem with SAD although I have felt for a long time that it is a of a day of exclusion. I am, as you can guess, single however and this (hopefully not to much of a) rant is about couples. In particular young couples. Old couples in theory should have this sorted (although they don't) and singles shouldn't have this issue.
Anyway in the title I use a word. It is seventeen letters long and has a meaning (duh). Several meanings actually depending on where you look. Differentiation for the purpose of this is to do with the intermingling of two people within a relationship and their individual identities. Partly the concept of being whipped for blokes or whatever the woman equivalent is. Whatever the next step after making sandwiches is I guess? It has always irked me the way people get together and then they morph into this one hideous entity. They disappear sometimes for weeks on end into their cocoon and when they emerge they are this horrid gelatinous blob of a being that used to resemble your mate and or matette. They lose all ability to make decisions when you talk to one head but not the other. THIS IS WRONG! If this is you... IT'S WRONG!... FIX IT!
OK so maybe that is a touch harsh. Don't get me wrong I'll let it go on for a month maybe even two. Who knows when/if I ever have another girl friend I may do this. I'm perfectly willing to let you get away with it for a little while. In the end, you may seem like a crime against nature and you must remember that you are two separate things. The same as you always were. The person you're mates loved (or in my case put up with *wink*). Us single people (as long as we haven't just been ditched) don't begrudge you having someone. That is awesome. We really think so. Whilst you are this one entity, (its a relationship after all) you are two separate beings. This needs to be remembered. I said it twice because it is important.
So, enough of joint Facebook accounts. 95% of partners will not cheat on you if they go out of an evening without you. Going out with boys/girls keeps you sane. You need to maintain those friends you had before you met and keep meeting new ones. I won't lie it took me losing someone to learn these lessons. Sometime there are things you will like and not the other, this is OK and not the end of the world. Stop looking for the perfect partners. Stop thinking your partner is perfect. They're not and that is life, you should revel in it.
"No man is an island" said Mr John Donne, Eve was created to keep Adam company (if you believe that). We like to be in relationships. The rest of us like them to be healthy. Take time to be yourself, do what you want and be sure and certain in the knowledge of who you are and your individuality. Having said that be open to trying new things, with or without someone. Share and all that jazz. We, I, totally understand. I just want you to be healthy and grown up in your relationships now and to see MY BLOODY MATE!
cheers guys see you next time
Japetto :-P
Now I don't really have a problem with SAD although I have felt for a long time that it is a of a day of exclusion. I am, as you can guess, single however and this (hopefully not to much of a) rant is about couples. In particular young couples. Old couples in theory should have this sorted (although they don't) and singles shouldn't have this issue.
Anyway in the title I use a word. It is seventeen letters long and has a meaning (duh). Several meanings actually depending on where you look. Differentiation for the purpose of this is to do with the intermingling of two people within a relationship and their individual identities. Partly the concept of being whipped for blokes or whatever the woman equivalent is. Whatever the next step after making sandwiches is I guess? It has always irked me the way people get together and then they morph into this one hideous entity. They disappear sometimes for weeks on end into their cocoon and when they emerge they are this horrid gelatinous blob of a being that used to resemble your mate and or matette. They lose all ability to make decisions when you talk to one head but not the other. THIS IS WRONG! If this is you... IT'S WRONG!... FIX IT!
OK so maybe that is a touch harsh. Don't get me wrong I'll let it go on for a month maybe even two. Who knows when/if I ever have another girl friend I may do this. I'm perfectly willing to let you get away with it for a little while. In the end, you may seem like a crime against nature and you must remember that you are two separate things. The same as you always were. The person you're mates loved (or in my case put up with *wink*). Us single people (as long as we haven't just been ditched) don't begrudge you having someone. That is awesome. We really think so. Whilst you are this one entity, (its a relationship after all) you are two separate beings. This needs to be remembered. I said it twice because it is important.
So, enough of joint Facebook accounts. 95% of partners will not cheat on you if they go out of an evening without you. Going out with boys/girls keeps you sane. You need to maintain those friends you had before you met and keep meeting new ones. I won't lie it took me losing someone to learn these lessons. Sometime there are things you will like and not the other, this is OK and not the end of the world. Stop looking for the perfect partners. Stop thinking your partner is perfect. They're not and that is life, you should revel in it.
"No man is an island" said Mr John Donne, Eve was created to keep Adam company (if you believe that). We like to be in relationships. The rest of us like them to be healthy. Take time to be yourself, do what you want and be sure and certain in the knowledge of who you are and your individuality. Having said that be open to trying new things, with or without someone. Share and all that jazz. We, I, totally understand. I just want you to be healthy and grown up in your relationships now and to see MY BLOODY MATE!
cheers guys see you next time
Japetto :-P
Monday, 23 January 2012
Dualism -- Pistols at dawn.
Drawing lines in the sand/dirt/imaginary philosophical position. We all do it to some degree or another. The past few days it has struck me, not quite like a fist to the face but perhaps a solid push, just how dualistic people are. Dualistism is basically the black and white line we draw. This is what I accept and this is what I do not. This is right, this is wrong. Getting the picture? Whilst true dualism is exactly this, and in western thinking, they are polar opposites (e.g. Good and Evil) I mean to discuss the more practical reality of how dualism works for me in my thinking, beliefs, understanding and struggles. Black and white is boring after all, its why we made colour TV.
I recently read a book by Scott Adams called God's Debris. In this book one of the central characters asserts that the human brain is a delusion generator. What he was saying is that there is so much information out there in reality that to deal with it our natural and healthy brains take what they can and make up the rest. This train of thought has some scientific basis to it as well (go New Age science). Now following this thought this adds up to the brain making choices. 'This I like I'll hold onto this' so on and so forth. Regardless of delusion or not this is a process that occurs all the time on each new piece of information our brain recieves. This is where my dualistic mind is centred. Trying to survive in a huge torrent of information.
Unfortunately inherent in this right wrong world is the distinct lack of wiggle room for interpretation. If I say something you either accept it or reject it. Back to what I started with these aren't hard and fast. Most people will accept a bit of grey area with a few exceptions. Fanatics don't believe in the concept of grey, and so we have my way or the highway. The thing is the dualistic mentality works (to a point). I am a 'dualistic thinking man', although I'll accept debate on thinking and man. Almost no greater expression of dualism can be found than in the two party political system found in the USA, (not exactly a shinning example of democracy if you ask me).
As I said to a point. Black and white has it's limits in understanding and communication. Like 99% of everything it is a half truth. Don't nobody say they have the truth and point to a religious/philosophical/political book/work/manifesto. Struggle lies in that grey area though. Grey area is dangerous. It should come with a warning, 'here be monsters'. Grey area is misty, hard to see where you are placing your feet and there are plenty of rocks and cliffs to trip over. Having said that I do wonder the more time you spend in the grey does it get any smaller? Any bigger? I want to be in the grey. I like saying I don't know. The Grey frees me from judgement and more importantly condemnation. I think it could be fun.
Bang
I recently read a book by Scott Adams called God's Debris. In this book one of the central characters asserts that the human brain is a delusion generator. What he was saying is that there is so much information out there in reality that to deal with it our natural and healthy brains take what they can and make up the rest. This train of thought has some scientific basis to it as well (go New Age science). Now following this thought this adds up to the brain making choices. 'This I like I'll hold onto this' so on and so forth. Regardless of delusion or not this is a process that occurs all the time on each new piece of information our brain recieves. This is where my dualistic mind is centred. Trying to survive in a huge torrent of information.
Unfortunately inherent in this right wrong world is the distinct lack of wiggle room for interpretation. If I say something you either accept it or reject it. Back to what I started with these aren't hard and fast. Most people will accept a bit of grey area with a few exceptions. Fanatics don't believe in the concept of grey, and so we have my way or the highway. The thing is the dualistic mentality works (to a point). I am a 'dualistic thinking man', although I'll accept debate on thinking and man. Almost no greater expression of dualism can be found than in the two party political system found in the USA, (not exactly a shinning example of democracy if you ask me).
As I said to a point. Black and white has it's limits in understanding and communication. Like 99% of everything it is a half truth. Don't nobody say they have the truth and point to a religious/philosophical/political book/work/manifesto. Struggle lies in that grey area though. Grey area is dangerous. It should come with a warning, 'here be monsters'. Grey area is misty, hard to see where you are placing your feet and there are plenty of rocks and cliffs to trip over. Having said that I do wonder the more time you spend in the grey does it get any smaller? Any bigger? I want to be in the grey. I like saying I don't know. The Grey frees me from judgement and more importantly condemnation. I think it could be fun.
Bang
Wednesday, 18 January 2012
Hello and Welcome to My Mind
Hello,
Welcome to my mind. Honestly though I do believe in years gone past this is why people had friends. That is not to say I don't have friends now. I do have this burning desire to get this thinking and these thoughts out of my head and somewhere. I'm sure some of them will be pure gold... and most of them a steaming pile of crap. If no body ever reads this, you know, I think I will be OK with that. I can't say how long this will last or whether it will go on from today. If I was would it be daily, weekly? Who knows and really I don't care overly much. It will be as it will be just as I am sure life will go on with or without this potential golden crap.
So dear reader I shall share with you some of the thoughts I had today. I have considered understanding. The concept of understanding and true understanding. I got to this thought from the starting point of belief.
I feel I am like many people; or I at least hope so and I like many people am not certain of what I believe or even if I believe in anything at all. Despite this I think I do (believe in something), I think belief goes hand in hand with existence. I grew up in a christian household my folks even went as far as to be ministers for one or two... maybe ten years. Now they have moved on (I think) and so have I. However, I don't know where I have moved to. So all I can really say is that I don't believe that anymore. So what do I believe when all I can really say is what I don't believe?
The understanding bit came in when I was thinking about people I know who may have made similar journeys. Not because of some traumatic experience or any reason other than they got to the point where they no longer really believed in whatever it was they believed. In particular one person drew this thought. I wondered; do they comprehend that they don't believe that anymore? Do they really realise that to remove that form their understanding their universe needs to have something substituted in there? I decided that probably not. They really didn't understand what not believing is. I went on to imagine that most people don't truly understand, well pretty much anything.
I certainly don't mean that last thought to be insulting. I certainly hardly understand much and as I said no idea what I believe. Although that is not strictly true. I have some idea, it's just overly vague and just a big mass of grey in a big ocean of ideas. Fluid, always changing, and never the same from one moment to the next. This post modern, existentialism is not always that helpful.
That would be my next thought. I am as you can see both those things. It is a nice place to be but can be challenging at times. Like many I am need of direction/purpose. The problem with this style of thinking is (at least for me) I struggle to take direction from outside. As after all that is your direction, and there is nothing wrong with that, but it just isn't my direction. There in lies the dilemma of existentialist living I guess. Well for me anyway.
Anyway I have been distracted for two paragraphs and should get back to the original thought. See my problem with all this comes from that ignorance, (I know people say it is bliss and I'm quite ready to believe them, these people whoever they are). See despite not believing in something and then substituting something in there for that; I'm sure people do this without knowing they do so. And perhaps they don't even know that, yet they don't just flash out of existence. They go about their jobs and lives, families and friends. Some of them I'm sure are even happy. I like that. I just don't think it is fair. Someone else should struggle with existence. Or at least tell me they do.
I must say. That was not the conclusion I expected. It is rather disappointing really. To get to the end and the ending is like that. Like all those really good movies that are fun and engaging and just as he is about to get the girl she dies, the dog runs away and the bank takes the house. Sorry, I'll try better next time (and I do think there will be a next time)
See you then.
Japetto.
Welcome to my mind. Honestly though I do believe in years gone past this is why people had friends. That is not to say I don't have friends now. I do have this burning desire to get this thinking and these thoughts out of my head and somewhere. I'm sure some of them will be pure gold... and most of them a steaming pile of crap. If no body ever reads this, you know, I think I will be OK with that. I can't say how long this will last or whether it will go on from today. If I was would it be daily, weekly? Who knows and really I don't care overly much. It will be as it will be just as I am sure life will go on with or without this potential golden crap.
So dear reader I shall share with you some of the thoughts I had today. I have considered understanding. The concept of understanding and true understanding. I got to this thought from the starting point of belief.
I feel I am like many people; or I at least hope so and I like many people am not certain of what I believe or even if I believe in anything at all. Despite this I think I do (believe in something), I think belief goes hand in hand with existence. I grew up in a christian household my folks even went as far as to be ministers for one or two... maybe ten years. Now they have moved on (I think) and so have I. However, I don't know where I have moved to. So all I can really say is that I don't believe that anymore. So what do I believe when all I can really say is what I don't believe?
The understanding bit came in when I was thinking about people I know who may have made similar journeys. Not because of some traumatic experience or any reason other than they got to the point where they no longer really believed in whatever it was they believed. In particular one person drew this thought. I wondered; do they comprehend that they don't believe that anymore? Do they really realise that to remove that form their understanding their universe needs to have something substituted in there? I decided that probably not. They really didn't understand what not believing is. I went on to imagine that most people don't truly understand, well pretty much anything.
I certainly don't mean that last thought to be insulting. I certainly hardly understand much and as I said no idea what I believe. Although that is not strictly true. I have some idea, it's just overly vague and just a big mass of grey in a big ocean of ideas. Fluid, always changing, and never the same from one moment to the next. This post modern, existentialism is not always that helpful.
That would be my next thought. I am as you can see both those things. It is a nice place to be but can be challenging at times. Like many I am need of direction/purpose. The problem with this style of thinking is (at least for me) I struggle to take direction from outside. As after all that is your direction, and there is nothing wrong with that, but it just isn't my direction. There in lies the dilemma of existentialist living I guess. Well for me anyway.
Anyway I have been distracted for two paragraphs and should get back to the original thought. See my problem with all this comes from that ignorance, (I know people say it is bliss and I'm quite ready to believe them, these people whoever they are). See despite not believing in something and then substituting something in there for that; I'm sure people do this without knowing they do so. And perhaps they don't even know that, yet they don't just flash out of existence. They go about their jobs and lives, families and friends. Some of them I'm sure are even happy. I like that. I just don't think it is fair. Someone else should struggle with existence. Or at least tell me they do.
I must say. That was not the conclusion I expected. It is rather disappointing really. To get to the end and the ending is like that. Like all those really good movies that are fun and engaging and just as he is about to get the girl she dies, the dog runs away and the bank takes the house. Sorry, I'll try better next time (and I do think there will be a next time)
See you then.
Japetto.
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