Yeild Points -- Stress

So I think recently I have, for nearly the first time in my life been aware of stress in myself. Aware of the worry and the concerns and I believe not just have I been aware of it but also the effect it was having on me and the way I was seeing the world a reacting to people. I think I also have noticed my ability to stay decidedly calm, for the most part. I think I'm dealing with it quite well. It is not something I have ever really thought about, stress and its effect I mean. That is not to say I haven't encountered stress.

In the past I've never been aware as I am now. I also doubt whether I have been under this kind of stress before. I may have mostly just cant recall. That is not to say it is unbearable amount. I'm not even saying I am overly stressed, just that I am stressed and think I'm dealing with it fairly well. Managing stress I imagine becomes a bigger and bigger part of our worlds. Mounting debts of houses and cars, bills for food, electricity and all that just to start and then you have your job and/or uni and/or family commitments and/or friend commitments. Each of these is another thing that can cause concern and worry. Even not overly involved in things I think it must be hard for some people to maintain the distance needed to stay healthy.

There are many things that we worry over yet we have little or no control over. If you look at the above list though people are so very capable. We are stressed but we manage all of those things all the time. It is only on occasion that it seems to or threatens to overwhelm. People should take a great encouragement in that. You are so capable and after all, full of potentials. Stress does do strange things to people however. We lose sight of the important things behind inflated egos and making small things much bigger than they are. Combinations of ego and dark imaginings are no help to anyone.

I'm trying to decide if it is worth settling for a little less in return for feeling a little happier for doing something you want to instead of need to. Unfortunately with time being time it is too often the case of doing one or the other. I think the irony is that stress isn't really real anyway. I mean we experience it however it is something that doesn't really exist except as a perception of how things may or may not be.

Problems of first world countries -- Busyness

Now, I know it seems like I pine for a girlfriend, a companion, someone who I can fall asleep and talk with and all the rest. It seems like this because I do. However since Friday night I have come home from uni, gone to work, finished got to my place of rest for the night slept for an hour, maybe an hour and a half and gone back to work, yay 7am starts. When I finished work there it was just after midday Saturday. I went back to home, and did a couple things I needed to but no where near all of the things I'd like to have prepared. I then proceeded to meet my family commitment for the weekend and then tried to get out to see some mates. About 9 by now. Halfway through travel from Brisbane to Gold Coast I was informed that they had had enough and were all going home... at 9:30pm... Apparently my friends aged to being in their forties without me noticing... Fair cop though, I've been busy and well to be honest sleep will do me some good. So went to bed around midnight, that I suppose is about standard for me. I woke up a few times before being proper awake at 6am. I then realised I had some time I dosed till 9. Got up dressed got stuff ready for the day spent 30 minutes paying a game and off to work.

I'm now at work. When I'm done I'll go home. I'll do some uni work if I'm good then maybe some TV or book or something I'll go to sleep, I'll get up and go to uni. That is my entirety of my weekend. Now seems fairly busy when put down like that. The problem is I consider that to be a fairly light weekend. Now there was probably some time where if I had a someone they could have seen me but really that's probably not fair. There is probably time during the week we could do something or rather but I'm pretty busy then too!

So I think I have to settle for pining. A friend of mine suggested getting a fuck buddy but I don't know if I could do that. I'll take applications and get back to whomever is interested when a solution has been resolved on the matter, mind. So what else can I do? I am busy but still there is a lot of time in cars or on public transport to mull on such things. It's why I keep busy  and it does work quite well. It seems it is hard to be busy enough.

All this business of being busy is essentially to stop my thinking. People often tell me I think too much. I don't believe this. I don't think someone can think too much. I'll explain. You see to say 'too much' means it can be a bad thing and well thinking of its self is not good or bad, it is just a thing. It can however be healthy or unhealthy. That is something that I'm trying to address. I want my thinking to be healthy or I don't want it at all.