The Truth, Honesty and Freespeech -- Why Nut Cases are Important Too

So with my last piece I wrote that we should all strive to tell the truth no matter what. It is a simple, almost overtly obvious statement that perhaps needs some further examination. It is both necessary and powerful. In fact Alekandr Solzhenitsyn asserted that if people had refused to lie, if they had just been honest about what was happening many, many people would have been spared in Russia. This is the man who is touted as responsible for destroying the moral credibility of the Soviet Union; of ending any credibility in Marxist doctrine. For when you are promised utopia all manner of sacrifice is permitted and no evil too great to get that which is promised. With one great book he ended a tyranny. The thing is what is truth?

This is where things get far more confusing. As anyone who may have witnessed a trial, or argued with a child, or argued with a friend, colleague or family member. Each perspective has it's own truth and we are seeing these playing out all the time on social media, in politics, and general conversation. In particular it would appear that the left and the right seem to be further from each other if not in goals but in methods. For all of the exclusion and inequality of the right, the 20th century was a lesson in the dangers of the far left. We all know that the path forward is not through either/or but rather the dialogue between the two. As the dialogue occurs we can further understanding. Understanding comes from listening not speaking; something far too many oft seem to forget.

It is this understanding that it seems we have forgotten to value. Whilst trigger warnings and being PC may protect some peoples feelings you may find it hard to locate a psychologist who would advocate for avoiding that which causes you discomfort. Rather, they would suggest that you should face your fears, not because they will make your fear less, but teach you that you are tough and strong and far more capable than you realize. That is not to say that we should all be out facing down what we are still coming to terms with. You must ask how concerned are you really that other peoples words may take hold in your heart that you must banish the sight of them. How little do you think of those around you that they would be so easily swayed but that which is undesirable. The truth of others is often undesirable and thus the importance of free speech. For people will think what they think regardless of what they say and that is what matters!

It is probably not possible to give a value to the positive effects of free speech. It is incomprehensibly important to modern society, thinking, values, culture, politics, etc, etc. Unfortunately that means people will say things we don't like. Not that we have to listen, or give credence but there is still a right to speak. And speak we should for as we have established one should speak the truth, quietly and clearly. Senator Hanson has a right to be heard, for not all she says is bad, Mr Trump has a right to say what he likes, for he sees the frustration of the people with a broken system. However, when our leaders and our peers can lie with impunity the system has become corrupt and is in need in redemption, for without it will surely lead to destruction and chaos. So listen and think. Come to a greater understanding. That is where you can make change, that is where you can make things better.

I hope that helps.

The World Keeps Spinning -- Long Time No See

The title really says it all, well not it all or there would be no need to type the rest. The thing is regardless of what anyone does the world will keep spinning. There are many things that have nearly and continue nearly threaten to overwhelm human existence on the planet and yet here we are still creating and consuming, bickering and anxious, sleeping, eating and going about the rest of our biological functions.

That is probably why these great threats are so distant. Regardless of their potential impact we don't really see the implication until too late. Certainly there is a certain propensity in western cultures, we punish the deed based on the outcome not the intent; and so it should be in many ways. Although perhaps not entirely. As such we have people being freed when they should be held, held when the should be freed and imminent global catastrophe.

These aren't all new concerns mind, the 20th century certainly gave us a taste. Our technology is now at such a place that we could, if so inclined to, end us all (or near enough that it makes little difference). It is obvious to me, and it should be to you, that we should not do that but rather strive to make the world a better place by acting meaningfully and with great purpose in all that we do.

Having said that I am not blind to the difficulties, many of us work multiple jobs and then try to make time for our health, friends, family, hobby and then we should try to better ourselves on top of that? People are definitely finite creatures which by all accounts run better with some sleep. So how do we go about this?

I have spent the past six months to learning about the history of the world and nature of humanity. Whilst much of it is quite dark it is not without hope. This is something that is most important to take from this. Whilst the Nazis tried to improve through biological selection, the Communists through a misplaced quest for utopia and the capitalists through an unending quest for the maximum for the minimum, there is a need for dialogue in all things.

Remember that conservatives do as the name suggests, the conserve things as they were and the status quo. Their argument is a good one for it does seem to work for the most part, but they are hindered by the structure. It does not bend and is what it is. Many are lost to the outside of the structure and those inside lack the perspective to see the tower for what it is.

Those on the left are just as misguided however. For they only know what they don't want and developing new systems are hard. Most systems are quite ancient and should only be disregarded with great care and consideration. The truth of course is somewhere in the middle and there in lies the need for dialogue and conversation. For whilst most of what is said is absurd and useless within is the nugget of gold hidden by the mountain. This gold is far more valuable than mere metal. It is what we all strive for, that which is glorified for itself and banishes all darkness before it.

So regardless of where you sit, do that one simple but difficult thing. Tell the truth.

Hard Work, Marriage and Perspective -- Cold Hearted

So on another train ride. Not going to uni or anything now going north to a wedding but more on that later. So this train ride, going north and sitting near Americans. Students. They seemed nice enough but I was amazed at how different our lives were. How different our experiences have been the paradigmes we have set up for ourselves. These up bringings that have shapped the way we are but the inherent predejuces. Not saying that they were racist but there was a certian arogance about the way the spoke to each other. A certain entitl,emt they seemed to feel. Travelling through a gorgeous area of south east Queensland called the Glasshouse Mountains and not even looking out the window.

I would have liked to have chatted with them about a number of things but they weren't really interested. I would have loved to have learnt about them. That would have been really cool. Things must be so different in the US. I must go there one day. Just to see what it is like. I do think I want to spend too much time there. There is way too much stuff that I find genuinely terrifying about that world. Something alien. I know that sounds quite xenophobic. Maybe it is.

Still the wedding. A far more important thing for this day. I don't like weddings though. It is not the thought of matrimony that bothers me because it does not. I rather idealise the joining of two people and do mean people, into a publicly recognised, commited relationship.

No what bothers me is the rhetoric. The game. Why do we need to talk of how these people were fated to be together? Fate's role in this is irrelevent. In fact I would begrudge fate if he had a hand in it for it absolves choice. Everyone should be accountable for their choices. Everyone needs to work for it right?

Don't read too much into this.

It's been six weeks since I've done one of these. It has been a damn busy six weeks too. Uni getting down to business, work mostly just getting int he way and not paying enough. Picked up a hobby again. Won't tell you about it, it's slightly embarrassing. The idea that we should confront ourselves with who we are is important. It is dangerous. It is also not a certain thing. The view we have of ourselves is limited at best only by a wanting to be the best self and at the worst is entirely inaccurate for a whole bunch of reasons.

For these reasons and others maybe we have friends to guide us and shape us in the ways we would like. Perhaps sometimes you can get back on track with a gentle nudge, as long as they nudge the way you want.

I'm beating round the bush.

I often feel pretty crappy, not sick, but just really low. Depression is definitely a real thing and has very real effects. Causes are often different and the manifestations too. I'm ok with this. What concerns me is the why. I don't understand why. In investigating what it could be with doctors and others alike, I have become familiar with waiting and the mediocrity of receptionists. I'm concerned though that it's not something easily fixable.

I'm worried that my brain is frying. I don't feel as clever or switched on as I used to be. It takes me longer to grasp things than it used to and extrapolating on that is getting harder. I'm losing track of time, imagining things and becoming forgetful. Feel like I'm relating really poorly with people, doing and saying terrible things, not because I want to but because I misread or phrase things wrong. Maybe these are the signs of growing up? Maybe these are normal? I don't know.

That scares the crap out of me. It's probably not even true. Certainly today I'm not in the correct space to make a good call and that certainly isn't a good one. I just want to be normal(ish). That would be nice. Then I wouldn't write about this stuff and I'd just go about doing what needs to be done, seeing people who wish to be seen and all the rest that people like you do. To focus on the important stuff in life not the trivial or the stuff that doesn't even effect.

The Great Struggle -- Winning Battles.

People talk about what they struggle with. The greatest struggle has been for a lot of people not some hardship forced upon them, not some depravity they have had to live with, not a lack of oppotunity. The great struggle is that of the internal struggle. The struggle with yourself, myself, the self. I struggle with myself, my head, my heart and although they are not different sometimes I need a little bit of help.

Conversations of the Insane -- See for Yourself

"GROW UP DAMNIT! How much longer will things be like this? What is the point, what are you doing? It is flawed and failing fast. THINGS HAVE TO CHANGE between us. I can't keep with this past, the swings the ups and downs it is just way too much. I think there is something seriously wrong  with you."
"I know, I'm sorry you're right."
"So what are you doing here? Do you want to be like this?"
"No, it's pathetic but so hard, why do you have to be so harsh?"
"I can't let you ruin things for me. I'm busy, I have much to do. I'm time poor. I can't waste my time having to deal with you."
"Well why don't you deal with me. Not a one way street, you can't just focus on what it is your doing, there is more than that. You have to be a person sometimes."
"Deal with yourself! It's not my responsibility to look after you. You're an adult, behave like one. I will not do this for you anymore. I think we need to have a serious talk about where we are going."

"But things can be so good. I need you."
"You are important to me too but I don't need you and right now I don't want you."
"But you are my everything. I wont know what to do next. I don't need you for purpose but just to encourage me to keep going."
"I dont want to be doing that anymore. I dont like this, I dont want this."
"Well then, I will have to change. What was it that you want to change?"
"EVERYTHING! Leave me be. I just don't want you right now."

Molten Iron -- Anger and Rebirth

There is something pure about anger. A white hot furnace of truth. A position reflecting the heart. Anger is honest. That is, it can't be easy to have dishonest anger so by process of elimination. What then is anger, wrath cannot exist for the purpose of wrath. Where is the shame and the hurt? the affront and sadness. When the fires of rage are exhausted, when the fuel is gone, what is left?

This fire analogy is an apt one. It describes what happens. The anger passes. Try to see what is left, see what is underneath. See the pride and shame and the ever testing trials of flaws we have no say on but to grow through. Remember the pain of growing, of the difficulty of moving to a new place. The mind and soul, or however you wish to identify them, are not dissimilar to the body, they grow, sometimes it takes a while to catch up. Sometimes they may never quite get there.

And in so keeping with what is anger it begins in white hotness and now on this packed train of people who are not people, with space all around me there is the inevitable depression that is regrowth. Phoenix are beautiful.