The World Keeps Spinning -- Long Time No See

The title really says it all, well not it all or there would be no need to type the rest. The thing is regardless of what anyone does the world will keep spinning. There are many things that have nearly and continue nearly threaten to overwhelm human existence on the planet and yet here we are still creating and consuming, bickering and anxious, sleeping, eating and going about the rest of our biological functions.

That is probably why these great threats are so distant. Regardless of their potential impact we don't really see the implication until too late. Certainly there is a certain propensity in western cultures, we punish the deed based on the outcome not the intent; and so it should be in many ways. Although perhaps not entirely. As such we have people being freed when they should be held, held when the should be freed and imminent global catastrophe.

These aren't all new concerns mind, the 20th century certainly gave us a taste. Our technology is now at such a place that we could, if so inclined to, end us all (or near enough that it makes little difference). It is obvious to me, and it should be to you, that we should not do that but rather strive to make the world a better place by acting meaningfully and with great purpose in all that we do.

Having said that I am not blind to the difficulties, many of us work multiple jobs and then try to make time for our health, friends, family, hobby and then we should try to better ourselves on top of that? People are definitely finite creatures which by all accounts run better with some sleep. So how do we go about this?

I have spent the past six months to learning about the history of the world and nature of humanity. Whilst much of it is quite dark it is not without hope. This is something that is most important to take from this. Whilst the Nazis tried to improve through biological selection, the Communists through a misplaced quest for utopia and the capitalists through an unending quest for the maximum for the minimum, there is a need for dialogue in all things.

Remember that conservatives do as the name suggests, the conserve things as they were and the status quo. Their argument is a good one for it does seem to work for the most part, but they are hindered by the structure. It does not bend and is what it is. Many are lost to the outside of the structure and those inside lack the perspective to see the tower for what it is.

Those on the left are just as misguided however. For they only know what they don't want and developing new systems are hard. Most systems are quite ancient and should only be disregarded with great care and consideration. The truth of course is somewhere in the middle and there in lies the need for dialogue and conversation. For whilst most of what is said is absurd and useless within is the nugget of gold hidden by the mountain. This gold is far more valuable than mere metal. It is what we all strive for, that which is glorified for itself and banishes all darkness before it.

So regardless of where you sit, do that one simple but difficult thing. Tell the truth.

Molten Iron -- Anger and Rebirth

There is something pure about anger. A white hot furnace of truth. A position reflecting the heart. Anger is honest. That is, it can't be easy to have dishonest anger so by process of elimination. What then is anger, wrath cannot exist for the purpose of wrath. Where is the shame and the hurt? the affront and sadness. When the fires of rage are exhausted, when the fuel is gone, what is left?

This fire analogy is an apt one. It describes what happens. The anger passes. Try to see what is left, see what is underneath. See the pride and shame and the ever testing trials of flaws we have no say on but to grow through. Remember the pain of growing, of the difficulty of moving to a new place. The mind and soul, or however you wish to identify them, are not dissimilar to the body, they grow, sometimes it takes a while to catch up. Sometimes they may never quite get there.

And in so keeping with what is anger it begins in white hotness and now on this packed train of people who are not people, with space all around me there is the inevitable depression that is regrowth. Phoenix are beautiful.

Eating and Drinking and Being Thoughtful -- Melbourne and Humanitarian Works

So when I started writing this I was in Melbourne. I finished it up the next day in Brisbane.

So about to leave Melbourne for the second time this year. I know I wanted to get down here again but it was rather unexpected. I hadn't thought I'd get down here again. I'd like to have something deep and impacting for you but mostly I just had a wonderful time eating and drinking my way through the city. I do so love my food and drink, or anyone elses for that matter. As far as places go for food and drink I certainly think that Melbourne is one of the better ones. I haven't been to enough places mind.

We were down here on behalf of uni to present at the EWB Challenge national finals. Very cool stuff although I'm not overly invested in humanitarian work there were still some great ideas to help improve peoples lives I only wish the winning idea had been better. It felt odd that in the end the judges had wanted to address peoples comfort (in a small way if at all) rather than survival rates. Still as I said humanitarian work isn't exactly my forte and I will concede I don't know much about it. I think my forte lies in the 'higher' level thinking stuff. In challenging people who live in the first world. Challenging them on their beliefs and drives.

Certainly with this blog, in conversation and discussion I hope to encourage people to think and question what it is they believe and feel, and why this is so. Where does one draw the line with helping people? Do you give everything you have away? These are questions that I don't feel have right answers particularly in western societies. I feel it is important on an individual level that people contemplate these even if not for long. To bring about an awareness of themselves and that their is  a world around them that they can affect even in small ways. Or even what their obligation to do so is. I don't know if that is the path to happiness but I think a greater understanding of self and the world would be a step in the right direction.

So as it turns out I did have something meaningful to gain from Melbourne and I hope that reading this helps you guys out too.

Wrathfully inspired -- Friends, Being Better

So had lots of thoughts the last few days. None of them fully formed (would you expect anything else) and most of them next to useless but nice to explore regardless.

So, where to start. The astute of you may notice that it is 0022hrs Sunday, 8th July 2012. This means that not that long ago it was Saturday and obviously this is a blog. That may imply that I wasn't out tonight, or at least not for very long, or if I did something remarkable happened. I'm blogging guess what it was?

Anyway as I have been home all evening wanted to write about expectations. I have found it common that people like to say they have no expectations of people, of their friends. Now, in principle I probably agree with the sentiment. Certainly not a fan of dependent relationships. However in practise I expect things of my friends. I expect them to behave like human beings. I feel the people who I choose to associate with are reflections of me, who I want to be and what I like. These people I want to be around are my peers by my choice. They are lucky however I want to be honoured and proud to know them. To spend my time, precious time split between many things with these people. Does that not give them some responsibility?

I mean I want people to be proud to call me friend. To want to know me, want to see me and I want to be the best person I can, not just for me because I can but because I can help to enrich yours and their lives. This is partly what this whole blog is about. I'm a human being with and experience hopefully you get something from my experience, something that helps you be a better human, whatever that means to you.  I have a responsibility to you to not be a dick. To help you more than I hinder. Yet we are all human and within these parameters people can be disappointed and let down and hurt. Not all of that can be made right.

That there is a scary thought. I can hurt my friends, I do hurt my friends. I need to be better to my friends but how do I do that. I mean treating other people as I want to be treated doesn't work. It's a nice sentiment but doesn't really work. I just need to work at the relationships. I want them to do the same.

SO what I'm saying is I'm proud of the people I call friend. I expect better of them. I'm OK that they disappoint me and let me down, it sucks, I'll get over it. I hope they are proud of me. I hope I am better to them. I hope I bring something positive to their lives.

Learning and Improving -- Compentence or Incompentence?

I'm not sure how we are supposed to take something things. Things happen and then how do we deal with them? What is the next step? What I find more concerning is, 'where I find the answer to that question?'

Do we look to the Internet? Well, maybe for some things but do you think the Internet is the best place for  advice, dating advice or on dealing with that other obscure hypothetical situation that is really happening. Do we look at TV and movies? I sincerely hope people don't look at Hollywood but I would imagine it is a little truer than most of us would care to admit. However in favour of Hollywood it would certainly make life easier to know that one day your prince charming will come or the girl next door will turn out to fall in love with the slightly awkward, smart and you know the drill... Is there redeeming TV? I suppose books might have some answers but I don't think I've really seen lasting self help books. It all sounds well and good but only ever a small amount of it lasts, but you did a lot of reading for seemingly just a small fraction of a change. One sentence different from a book of hundreds of pages that is your life.

However maybe that is how it goes. Maybe it's not all about making changes now about altering my life's course, not dodging the ice burgs rather gently brushing... well maybe that's a bad example. Still small little adjustments one at a time. Does this work? When confronted by something can I kinda go, 'yeah', and stay basically the same just subtly changing; so much so it is hardly noticeable.

My point was mostly that I'm not sure how well this stuff works. I don't know if any of it works if some is better or much really. Where do we get this experience from? I rather like self analysis (in healthy form) however how do you know you're analysing right? This was all sparked by this article I read about whether someone who is truly incompetent can know they are in fact incompetent. It carries on saying how to self evaluate you need to be somewhat competent. So the again how could the incompetent know they are incompetent? In fact it is often shown that people who are incompetent thing they are most defiantly competent. So am I good at knowing how to change myself for the better? Am I a competent human being? Can be a better one? Or am I kidding myself?

I think I'm doing not too bad a job. 

P.S. Article for your perusal, I thought it was interesting.
P.P.S.  Twitter I'm still working on using it.

I think I saw a 2 -- Dreams

So I had a crazy and incredibly vivid dream this morning.... hmmm, on second thought this needs some reference point for you guys.

I used to not dream. I know they say you always dream but if you can't ever recall your dreams it makes no difference whether it happened or not, trees falling in forests and all that. Once I did start dreaming (or remembering) I became a bit of a lucid dreamer. Basically a a lucid dreamer is someone who has awareness and control of their dreams. I remember this one and I was not in control and I was not aware.

Honestly it scared me some.

I dreamt of a uni assignment. My group (which has truly been a nightmare for me (not the group but one person in it)), my tutor and my presentation. Now I became aware that it was a dream about 20 minutes after I woke myself up. Basically I failed and it wasn't my fault. I failed and I was pissed about it. There was yelling, a compelling argument, good reasoning and my tutor ran off being a douche.

This was all really vivid even now about 7 hours ago. I can recall clothing I was wearing, responses and all sorts.  I mean the only things I have ever dreamt about this vividly I'm not going to share with you.

Now, I'm not one to see meaning where there is none. I trust my dreams are as far as I can control them. However maybe for once I care about something that isn't just a person. If I care as much as this suggests perhaps I should really try do it well. Still I'd rather not care too much, I don't like these dreams, hows any ones dream interpretation skills? Want to tell me its all meaningless drivel of an over active subconscious, that would make life easier.

Talk to you all soon.
I've been more active on my twitter recently. I either post funny things or stuff I found interesting. Gonna try keep it going though so if you're interested keep watch.
https://twitter.com/#!/Aejms

Black. White or Grey -- Changes

No one has the power to change you, unless you let them. That one is soully up to you. If you're with someone and you feel that they're changing you, you're wrong. You might be changing; they might be forcing the point. You can bend to that, you can break to that or you can insist upon nothing c  hanging. It may end your relationship. Might be for the best if that is the case. Or you might change them.

As I've written before every action has an equal and opposite reaction. The point is how one looks at it. Do you look at two individuals or the two as a relationship. A relationship is a system, the two parts acting and reacting to each other. What one does will undoubtedly provoke a confrontation with the other, even if they agree with their partner, you are confronted with that choice.

Your partner is inviting change at a conscious and subconscious level. The next step is whether or not you a conscious and aware of the impact they are having on you. This goes the same for friends and aquintences although perhaps not with the same intensity. I feel like people need to hear this. This is probably not the avenue for it mind but it's something.

Time with people in their late teens has reminded me of this stuff. They like to say how you shouldnt judge or if you judge it's your problem, (I'm paraphrasing here). The funny thing if you stop and look at how you as a human being behave. Intrinsically you are eternally judging things. Just to survive. You see a tiger or velociraptor bearing down on you, you don't stop to ask it's intent and meaning behind it's action you fucking well run cause it's going to eat you. The struggle lies in what you do with those judgements. Sometimes running is wise, sometimes confrontation. Sometimes just keeping your mouth closed is good. Unfortunately I can't help with what to do when, they get to be your choice.

The other thing in reguards to this is that I feel that us in our teens, twenties, thirties even and onward for many people are filled up with our self importance. I was speaking with someone who threw down a challenge to me saying that if their shorts were too short that their, "clothing suited their lifestyle and if I judge them for that it is my problem". Now that's cool and whatever but I'm a full time uni student doing engineering who works thirty hours a week and has other things to do as well. I'm pretty busy, there are certainly busier people than I and I can tell you now I really couldnt care less what someone is wearing. Don't get me wrong I can appreciate a nice outfit and laugh at a terrible one however I really don't have time or head space to think any more than that.

Good example yes? I thought so. I'd give a better one but that was the only one that came to mind.

So I think to summerize all of this it's important to stay true to yourself but not to resist change just because it is change. Rather be aware of the influences around you and try to pick the path you believe you want to follow. In the end that's really all we do anyway and maybe looking like this might be able to choose a happier path.