Inspiring Fear -- Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!

It is funny how fears can creep up on you. Things that you don't contemplate because you never saw them coming, or because you don't contemplate much. The thing is fear is often based in the future, on something that may or may not happen. These worries this stress isn't really necessary.

Fear of itself is not a good reason to not doing anything. If I had to list things  that becoming a man or woman, an adult was about it would be doing things despite being afraid. That is not to say go out and do stupid shit but more to challenge oneself in the boundaries you set to make sure you keep striving and journeying towards being a better human being. Fear will prevent this. Fear is in fact very good at preventing growth because it is so very easy to rationalise. Fears are often based in good places. "I'm not jumping because this is the eight stories high". But maybe from this eighth floor there is a giant water slide and it would be perfectly safe and awesome fun. Sometimes there are good and great things that we cannot see because we are afraid.

Be smart in where you push but keep pushing. Even if no one else thinks you're great you can because you will be more of a person than you were yesterday, more human. Take journeys with people and grow and learn and experience. You don't need to have great recognition to do great things. You just have to do them.

Waking dreams -- Picking up my Jaw

I had a different idea (or six) to present to you but have decided to put that on hold for a while.
I have in fact been thinking about other things the last few days. Particularly a bit of cowardice and a lot of, "wow, she's cute/pretty/beautiful" or any combination of the three. The problem I have is I didn't say that to anyone. With one notable exception.

I would have liked to have said that. I would have liked to have said, "Hey, look dont take this the worng way or anything but I think you are very pretty/beautiful". With no other motive than I thought it and maybe they might like to hear it. I got close with one but ended up stammering some stupid excuse for lingering eye contact making a silly joke cause I triped on a chair at the coffee shop. Sounds like a movie I know, was expecting any moment to have the director call cut and have a glass of water with Jennifer Anniston or something.

Intellectually I have nothing to lose and honestly I'm not really trying to gain anything. Yet I couldn't just speak these words. What was the problem? They are only words after all. I don't overly care how they are received either.

Oh well. I could probably arrange to see if I'm not forced to see each of them again. Perhaps I'll do it next time. Still nothing to lose...