Inspiring Fear -- Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!

It is funny how fears can creep up on you. Things that you don't contemplate because you never saw them coming, or because you don't contemplate much. The thing is fear is often based in the future, on something that may or may not happen. These worries this stress isn't really necessary.

Fear of itself is not a good reason to not doing anything. If I had to list things  that becoming a man or woman, an adult was about it would be doing things despite being afraid. That is not to say go out and do stupid shit but more to challenge oneself in the boundaries you set to make sure you keep striving and journeying towards being a better human being. Fear will prevent this. Fear is in fact very good at preventing growth because it is so very easy to rationalise. Fears are often based in good places. "I'm not jumping because this is the eight stories high". But maybe from this eighth floor there is a giant water slide and it would be perfectly safe and awesome fun. Sometimes there are good and great things that we cannot see because we are afraid.

Be smart in where you push but keep pushing. Even if no one else thinks you're great you can because you will be more of a person than you were yesterday, more human. Take journeys with people and grow and learn and experience. You don't need to have great recognition to do great things. You just have to do them.

Learning and Improving -- Compentence or Incompentence?

I'm not sure how we are supposed to take something things. Things happen and then how do we deal with them? What is the next step? What I find more concerning is, 'where I find the answer to that question?'

Do we look to the Internet? Well, maybe for some things but do you think the Internet is the best place for  advice, dating advice or on dealing with that other obscure hypothetical situation that is really happening. Do we look at TV and movies? I sincerely hope people don't look at Hollywood but I would imagine it is a little truer than most of us would care to admit. However in favour of Hollywood it would certainly make life easier to know that one day your prince charming will come or the girl next door will turn out to fall in love with the slightly awkward, smart and you know the drill... Is there redeeming TV? I suppose books might have some answers but I don't think I've really seen lasting self help books. It all sounds well and good but only ever a small amount of it lasts, but you did a lot of reading for seemingly just a small fraction of a change. One sentence different from a book of hundreds of pages that is your life.

However maybe that is how it goes. Maybe it's not all about making changes now about altering my life's course, not dodging the ice burgs rather gently brushing... well maybe that's a bad example. Still small little adjustments one at a time. Does this work? When confronted by something can I kinda go, 'yeah', and stay basically the same just subtly changing; so much so it is hardly noticeable.

My point was mostly that I'm not sure how well this stuff works. I don't know if any of it works if some is better or much really. Where do we get this experience from? I rather like self analysis (in healthy form) however how do you know you're analysing right? This was all sparked by this article I read about whether someone who is truly incompetent can know they are in fact incompetent. It carries on saying how to self evaluate you need to be somewhat competent. So the again how could the incompetent know they are incompetent? In fact it is often shown that people who are incompetent thing they are most defiantly competent. So am I good at knowing how to change myself for the better? Am I a competent human being? Can be a better one? Or am I kidding myself?

I think I'm doing not too bad a job. 

P.S. Article for your perusal, I thought it was interesting.
P.P.S.  Twitter I'm still working on using it.

Not Neccesarily in that Order -- Mistakes and Friends

I hate making mistakes. I think though that I have an amazing ability to make them. I can't for the life of me seem to be able to make the right choices. Perhaps I am being overly critical and almost certainly a hard task master. Irregardless of this I want to make the right decisions. I want things to go well. In what I do, what I think, who I talk to. I can't for the life of me seem to be able to do it.

I can't help but suggest there be flaws in peoples logic and reasoning when they present ideas to me. I don't really want to be like this anymore. I hate making mistakes with people with things and I want to do better. I suppose direction would help, but equally I thought I had some direction. Maybe I don't believe enough in this direction? I certainly feel a little directionless. Or at least all the directions I wanted to go in yesterday are some how wrong today. Someone once they told me that if I was removed from the people around me I would not survive. I don't think this is true but I certainly like having people around me. There are no illusions about being a social creature.

I spoke of sacrifice with another friend of mine. We talked of the willingness to give of our selves and resources for our mates and friends. I remarked that many people are not willing to make those sacrifice that on the most part many like their friends on their terms. We decided this was a shame, but there is nothing wrong with this. I wonder if this is the same for boyfriends or girlfriends (whichever is your fancy). We are often very happy to sacrifice things we care little for but anything important to the individual quickly outstrips the needs of someones friends. This surely is not the case universally but I bet it is damn hard to pick which one is which till it happens.
I hope I'm the right kind if there is one, I hope I make the right choices, and I hope tomorrow I make fewer mistakes.