Hopeful - Looking here and now and forward

Organised  belief systems absolve responsibility. That's it, it has been said. One of the big unrealised issues with belief and my problem with religions. "I failed this, got fired by blah or was mean to this person because God/Zeus/Cat/Caboose wanted it this way". That is so not OK. You failed/fired cause you didn't do the work. You were mean because you were projecting your ideals and ideas onto someone else or you straight up just don't care enough to let them be them. As time goes by empirical thinking has been harder to ignore, it provides a foundation to learn so much. Reconcile that you don't know everything or rather nearly anything, you know what you know however and that is also such a vast amount. How to communicate, language and social behaviour then there is everything that you have learnt over time from school and family and friends! The sheer knowledge we have gained is astounding and yet there is always more. Is that not wonderful?

This blog has been inspired by uni exams and the fact that Prof. Brian Cox is on the radio and I happen to be on the train. For those who aren't familiar with Brian Cox he is a exceptionally clever man with a couple doctorates specialising in particle physics and astrophysics. He was also in a moderately famous pop band. "Thingggssss, can only get betterrrr..." Yeah that one. Just there is so much hope for humanity if just we could step outside ourselves for a bit. There are so many wonders that inspire. We can't ignore politics, whether US or Australian and pop culture is exceptionally prevalent it is inescapable but at the same time these things are inspiring in many ways. Except Nicki Minaj, she still is is disgrace to all things art.

So with only 1 important exam left after today and a bludge one after that what am I looking to do with my time. See and spend time with friends gathering experiences and learning. I'm gonna make some youtube videos again, although probably not vlog type ones, make some music, continue with piano and guitar. Work as well. Set some things right.

Lets see how that goes hey!

Eating, Drinking and Being Merry -- States of Being

So I've been away... for nearly two weeks now. It was uni holidays. Yes I had more time to think but well nothing really worth telling you about. I did however go to Melbourne. That may also have contributed to problems.

I loved Melbourne. It had so much food and drink, they were all over the shop. I went down there for the purpose of seeing a concert with my father. It was a band called, 'Yes', they were excellant and I saw them at a place called 'the Palazio'. It was a truely wonderful venue. IT was a converted old cinema or theatre. Big commpfy leather seats two teir and just a lovely venue. The band was amazing, I hear with a change, maybe two to the line up they would be even better but I tell you what I was stoked to see them and very impressed.

I tried swordfish and drank a variety of beers and cocktails. If I could afford to I'd love to do that all the time. Out with friends, eating and drinking and being merry.

It struck me how much I value and want to do that and want to have people around me to do that too. I also want to be able to afford to do this. What I'll sacrifice to do that I'm not sure yet.

All the things we want to do everywhere you want to be, see and do they cost. Whether it is in money or time, energy, sleep or doing something else. I don't know how you give these things worth but in the end I think I do what will make me happiest. Even if its painful now it may give the oppotunity to be happy in the future. Happy is where I want to be. Its not a goal for me just a state of being sometimes its easier sometimes harder but it is just a state.

So come with me lets eat, drink and be merry.

It hurts -- New People

I have never been able to tell if it's that I'm over sensitive and soft, weak even or if the people I chose for mates were really that bad. I'm surprised that despite the fact that I'm aware of how self absorbed and all around assholey these people can be it damn well seems they're trying their best to hurt and that it hurts so much. Now it's not true for all of them but gosh it hurts sometimes and I cant for the life of me see why? I haven't done something that out of order have I? I don't really think I have ever inflicted this kind of pointless pain on people. I mean I'll be the first to admit I'm an asshole but wow.

I need to surround myself with some better people. This isn't right. I don't know how others relate with their friends but it can't be like this everywhere. I don't want to be part of this anymore.

So, I guess I'm taking applications. I'm not perfect and I wont always be the person I should but I tell you what I won't ever intend to treat you as it feels they treat me.

New things -- Variety learning.

I've always been very good at wanting to do many things. In fact I often say one day I will do x.y and z. Now this is all well and good but.

I'm pretty sure there are a number of people I've told about this who don't take me seriously. Hey, fair cop, pretty sure my track record up until this point is not fantastic.

This is not going to stay like this.

When I say I want to do something I'm damn well going to do it!

This isn't just a promise either.
I've started. I dance twice a week something I've said I want to do but never have until now. I'm 22 now! Also piano. I've loved music for many a year. I've tried playing drums and guitar. I even was moderately proficient at guitar for a little while. Then I put it down for three years. Anyway I've picked the guitar up and I practise. Not as much as I should be enough that there is slow improvement. I do like to play by ear, I can do it to an extent. But now. Yes now I have started piano and learning music. Real music! Just in a couple weeks I'm starting to recognise things. It's quite similar to starting to read I think. Something I haven't done for a long time!

There are other things I've said I'm going to do.
I just love learning new skills/abilities/shit. Here's a few;
Ride a horse,
Snowboard,
Saxophone (after piano and guitar)

I want to be someone who does what I say I'm going to. It may not be tomorrow or even this year but I really want to be that guy.
What do you want to do? Going to do it?

Cheers Japetto