Poets, Biology and Psychcology -- It's a Beautiful World

Halfway through year eleven was when poetry changed. Approximately mid 2005 that would be. It went from something meaningless a pointless object of study to something more. Eloquence is important eloquence adds something beautiful to otherwise purely functional language, language that would not make a whole lot of sense. The way writers would construct words and meanings from seemingly unrelated tangents and images. The imagining that goes into it was; is wonderful. The study of poetry, still nearly meaningless though. The power of imagination is truly astounding.

Current thoughts in regards to the workings of people propose the idea that our brains, which receive electrical signals, use that information to construct what we see, hear, smell, etc. That information has still gone from the 'real' world and been converted to digital. As with all ADC's (Analogue to Digital Converter) there is signal loss. Still our brains create this amazing world. This detailed, beautiful and amazing world that we are part of. We imagine this! How great is that. It is however altered by our perceptions of the information we receive. Analogies and personification lending meaning because of our understanding of non-literal ideas. A perception of a reality that we refuse to believe lending meaning to an eloquence seldom achieved by the layman.

The same applies to memories. Did you know our brains fill in gaps for information we don't have as long as they have evidence of an event. Sorry there is no reference but there was a study done of people who had been to Disney land five years after they had. At an interview at this time they were all shown a picture of themselves with Bugs Bunny. 80% of people claimed they remembered having the photo taken... But Bugs Bunny is a Warner Bros. character. It is important to remember this. Living in memories, living in the past is a dangerous place to be. But when I go outside, the Botanical garden are right there, this is a centre of learning full of potential, of hope, of youth and wisdom. This is a beautiful world. Poets are right to write of love and beauty and loss so we remember that the bad will come but this moment too will pass.

Comfortably Good -- Being the best

I have come to the realisation that I will never be really good at anything. Not really, really good. Not a rock star, or an elite athlete, probably not a leader in my field. I'm ok with this. Hell, thats awesome. I'm way to balanced. I like that. Yeah it means I wont be one of those amazing people but the sacrifices you would have to make to get there. It is too much. I really wanted to write that in a much more positive manner. Despite how it sounds it is positive honest. The idea of being a balanced human being who is able to be interested and do a number of different, split my time between work and play with no need nor desire to be anything more than good. There is nothing wrong with being good. Solid, not mediocre... I've attacked the idea of being mediocre and that is not O.K.being solidly good without needing to be the best. Nothing wrong with that. Can only be one best at a time anyway.

I suppose this thinking has some inherent dangers. It could lead to that dreaded averagness that plagues everywhere... well according to me. Anyway this was a short one that I wanted to make the point that thank you those who do strive to be the best, the rocks stars, the athletes, the professors and cutting edge surgeons (oh yeah pun!) and doctors. You guys do wonderful things. Great things bring joy and entertainment to me. Small me who is happy being solidly good, going to bed, playing bad music and having good friends because I know you can't have that life.

You're wrong I'm right -- Expectations

So the thing about not sleeping, about not being able to sleep, is that everything is infinitely worse when you are tired like that. For those of you that may know what it is like you may disagree but I find the bit where you just lay there the most annoying. Not being kept up by an over active brain or because you had to finish that book, episode, trilogy, whatever. But up because you are not asleep. I hate that loathe. Anyway as is the case with running on ridiculously few hours of sleep there are the inevitable and variable mood swings. You go from OK, to full of energy (your body interprets not being able to sleep similar to death and hits the system with every ones friend adrenaline) and bouts of melancholy.

Anyway that was kinda what has been happening but in other news I'm quite hard on people. The people I associate with anyway. I expect more and better of them all the time. This is a problem. I have exceptionally high expectations of myself too, most of which I never come close to meeting but that is not the problem I feel I should be dealing with. The big one is the expectations I have of others. There is no need for them. I already like them I wont like them overly much more if they do what I want. It only hinders, boxes them in a place I have no right to put them.

Again this is not anything really to do with them. If the world was as I wished it the whole place would be a lot nicer and I'd be a damn sight better looking. The problem with idealism I suppose... I do like ideals and idealism and it's why I would be no good in government. The ability to be more practically available is a great help for such things. That idea has some merit in evaluating current political climates as well as social situations. I've always been confused by the American republican party. They are so idealistic and that really does not work. They also have some quite conflicting philosophies I thought. I would need to look into it more to establish a more educated idea about them and to be honest I feel I have better things I could spend my time on.

Still, need to work on expectations. I can't bring my self to expect nothing of others, of the world. So I must manage them. Expect people to be who they are, to be people. To be selfish and loving, to give and take, to hurt and heal. To try to do what they think is the right thing to do. In the end that's all we can do.

Wrathfully inspired -- Friends, Being Better

So had lots of thoughts the last few days. None of them fully formed (would you expect anything else) and most of them next to useless but nice to explore regardless.

So, where to start. The astute of you may notice that it is 0022hrs Sunday, 8th July 2012. This means that not that long ago it was Saturday and obviously this is a blog. That may imply that I wasn't out tonight, or at least not for very long, or if I did something remarkable happened. I'm blogging guess what it was?

Anyway as I have been home all evening wanted to write about expectations. I have found it common that people like to say they have no expectations of people, of their friends. Now, in principle I probably agree with the sentiment. Certainly not a fan of dependent relationships. However in practise I expect things of my friends. I expect them to behave like human beings. I feel the people who I choose to associate with are reflections of me, who I want to be and what I like. These people I want to be around are my peers by my choice. They are lucky however I want to be honoured and proud to know them. To spend my time, precious time split between many things with these people. Does that not give them some responsibility?

I mean I want people to be proud to call me friend. To want to know me, want to see me and I want to be the best person I can, not just for me because I can but because I can help to enrich yours and their lives. This is partly what this whole blog is about. I'm a human being with and experience hopefully you get something from my experience, something that helps you be a better human, whatever that means to you.  I have a responsibility to you to not be a dick. To help you more than I hinder. Yet we are all human and within these parameters people can be disappointed and let down and hurt. Not all of that can be made right.

That there is a scary thought. I can hurt my friends, I do hurt my friends. I need to be better to my friends but how do I do that. I mean treating other people as I want to be treated doesn't work. It's a nice sentiment but doesn't really work. I just need to work at the relationships. I want them to do the same.

SO what I'm saying is I'm proud of the people I call friend. I expect better of them. I'm OK that they disappoint me and let me down, it sucks, I'll get over it. I hope they are proud of me. I hope I am better to them. I hope I bring something positive to their lives.

Writers block and Wrecking Balls -- Not advice, or quote, or wise.

I think this is about the third time I've opened this up now and still don't really have anything new. They say there is nothing new under the sun but after a massive six months of this I'd be concerned if I was repeating myself without any changes, without any growth.

The thing is people still come and go from lives drifting in and out. People still disappoint and let you down, surprise you and if they're good build you up. Uni is a challenge which one should work harder at and I'm not as fit as I could be. Want to practice more of those instruments and continue to try new things and get back into those things I no longer have been able to make time for.

I have over the last six months always wanted to write about all those quotes and wisdom statements you see on the internet and Facebook. So many people comment on them and like them. Yet I've found often if I spend 30 seconds looking at it, the quote is a poor one. In fact it will generally be a hopelessly romanticized way to see the world. It does not work and can not work. We all subscribe to this wonderfulness and really its not wonderful, its despairing. That is not to say there are no good quotes, no good wisdom statements, no good observations on the human reality. On contra ire they're just not popular (on the whole).

I think one of the most touted pieces of advice is, 'be yourself'. I honestly have no idea what that means. Does it mean I should do what I think I should do, because that is what I'm already doing. Or does it mean I should do what I feel is right regardless of the rules and standards around me, but that is really dangerous. What if I believe in culling the stupid?! Now I'm not suggesting all advice and wisdom has to be universal. Just well thought out. Just because someone likes a sentiment doesn't mean it is a useful or helpful sentiment. Often it is just a reflection of a place we used to be in. An example of a connection to a past which no longer exists.

So next time you see a 30 great quotes web page or someone posts something on Facebook, look at them and wonder to yourself does it mean anything? does it help me now? In the end that's what you need it for and maybe it would be nice to reflect on how nice it would be if things could be that simple.