Quotes and Wisdom -- I wish this were true.

“Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement. They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Colours seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you. You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life." - Bob Marley

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes/151476-only-once-in-your-life-i-truly-believe-you-find

I'm not sure if I believe in the completeness of this any more.

Inspiring Fear -- Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!

It is funny how fears can creep up on you. Things that you don't contemplate because you never saw them coming, or because you don't contemplate much. The thing is fear is often based in the future, on something that may or may not happen. These worries this stress isn't really necessary.

Fear of itself is not a good reason to not doing anything. If I had to list things  that becoming a man or woman, an adult was about it would be doing things despite being afraid. That is not to say go out and do stupid shit but more to challenge oneself in the boundaries you set to make sure you keep striving and journeying towards being a better human being. Fear will prevent this. Fear is in fact very good at preventing growth because it is so very easy to rationalise. Fears are often based in good places. "I'm not jumping because this is the eight stories high". But maybe from this eighth floor there is a giant water slide and it would be perfectly safe and awesome fun. Sometimes there are good and great things that we cannot see because we are afraid.

Be smart in where you push but keep pushing. Even if no one else thinks you're great you can because you will be more of a person than you were yesterday, more human. Take journeys with people and grow and learn and experience. You don't need to have great recognition to do great things. You just have to do them.

This sentiment right here.

Caboose asks Church if he ever wonders why they're here. Church replies "It's not about hating the guy on the other side because someone told you to. I mean, you should hate someone because they're an asshole or a pervert or snob or they're lazy or an idiot or a know-it-all. Those are reasons to dislike somebody. You don't hate a person because someone told you to. You have to learn to despise people on a personal level. Not because they're red or because they're blue but because ya know them and you see them every single day. And you can't stand them because they're a complete and total fucking douchebag." Caboose then corrects him, stating that he simply wanted to know why they were in the sun when they could be in the shade.

Stolen from Rooster teeth, Red vs Blue Season 5.

Hopeful - Looking here and now and forward

Organised  belief systems absolve responsibility. That's it, it has been said. One of the big unrealised issues with belief and my problem with religions. "I failed this, got fired by blah or was mean to this person because God/Zeus/Cat/Caboose wanted it this way". That is so not OK. You failed/fired cause you didn't do the work. You were mean because you were projecting your ideals and ideas onto someone else or you straight up just don't care enough to let them be them. As time goes by empirical thinking has been harder to ignore, it provides a foundation to learn so much. Reconcile that you don't know everything or rather nearly anything, you know what you know however and that is also such a vast amount. How to communicate, language and social behaviour then there is everything that you have learnt over time from school and family and friends! The sheer knowledge we have gained is astounding and yet there is always more. Is that not wonderful?

This blog has been inspired by uni exams and the fact that Prof. Brian Cox is on the radio and I happen to be on the train. For those who aren't familiar with Brian Cox he is a exceptionally clever man with a couple doctorates specialising in particle physics and astrophysics. He was also in a moderately famous pop band. "Thingggssss, can only get betterrrr..." Yeah that one. Just there is so much hope for humanity if just we could step outside ourselves for a bit. There are so many wonders that inspire. We can't ignore politics, whether US or Australian and pop culture is exceptionally prevalent it is inescapable but at the same time these things are inspiring in many ways. Except Nicki Minaj, she still is is disgrace to all things art.

So with only 1 important exam left after today and a bludge one after that what am I looking to do with my time. See and spend time with friends gathering experiences and learning. I'm gonna make some youtube videos again, although probably not vlog type ones, make some music, continue with piano and guitar. Work as well. Set some things right.

Lets see how that goes hey!

Discontent

It's hard to hide the gnashing of teeth,
the accentuated rise and fall of the the chest, the frown,
the agitation and restlessness, the anger,
the rise in pain from wounds not healed! Physical and not.
Hard to dismiss what does not apply and yet the effects that keep affecting.
Your thoughtlessness, choices plain to see,
changes deep as a dried creek bed, relevant only for a single moment.
Bizarre misplaced reasoning leading down the short road to mistakes and heart aches.
We all want our cake and to eat it to,
for what else do you have cake for?

All the while watching and observing,
reflecting on differences and drives,
we shall see what tomorrow brings

Collections of Scatters -- Disconnected Thoughts, Worries

So here are a few of the thoughts that have started for me recently but failed to develop into whole posts. Then there will some stuff about where I have been in my head just recently.

 Post 1
People are both stronger and more fragile than they appear. This is concerning. It may have been mentioned before that I'm not the nicest guy around and I stick to this regardless of how things may appear. There are a few reasons for this and most of them are to do with making choices.When presented with a situation there is generally the feeling of this is what we believe is the right choice to make. The problem lies when someone refuses to make that choice. Not makes a mistake of judgement but rather decides to do something else. 




Post 2
Music has been strange recently, hasn't it? Seriously Call Me Maybe on the back of Friday and now Gangnam Style. Finding more and more people rejecting 'artist's' such as Nicki Minaj. It has been rather fascinating watching the changes and where they might go next. Independent music has been on the up and up. It seems more and more that commercial radio is being phased out and being replaced by people downloading and playing their own. Now with the horrible percentage of ads removed could this possibly change. Or is this one giant mistake and illusion based on demographics and familiarity. Have things maybe always been like this?



 The Last Week
Recently I've been fighting the depression that is my... constant struggle? I don't really know how to describe it. I mean I fight with myself trying to instil a believe of self worth. The annoying thing is that I'm not sure what it is all about. Just that there be a lack of some chemical in my head and I have to try really hard to change it. I mean really none of that is even confirmed. Just I recognize it as what it is and try to deal with it. It is hard though to encourage yourself when you don't believe a word of it. That I think is why I certainly find value in human interactions. This isn't supposed to manipulate anyone who reads this overly but rather a way of me expressing my struggles.

And it is a struggle. Regardless I'm worried. I'm worried that I'm not in the right place that I've missed some mystical choice that would put me somewhere that I'm supposed to be. The idea is foreign, foolish.  Crazy I am where I am and that is the way of things yet it worries me. I have been making poor choice and this is no excuse but it does exacerbate (make worse) things. Not really a fan of that lost sensation. Still nearly time for me to go celebrate a birthday. I really hope I don't fail them as well.

Fail Blog -- Love, Language...

So... Found this little article just here. It is really very cool. It has been observed previously (see in the first 3 or 4 blogs) that in Greek there are five words for love yet in English the concept is encompassed by one measly four letter word. I mean we have multiple words that we can substitute in for fuck (some of them even other four letter words), yet only one love. Anyway that article lists some words from other languages and translates them as best as they can. They are to do with relationships and feelings and whilst it is probably a little bit

Anyway where this is going is towards the things that are bigger than they seem. Four letter words, which encompass any  idea. Any definition really. Then to go on to a person, then people and the interactions of people. Eloquence is important and useful. Despite the sometimes difficulties one can have in communicating with an elaborated scope of language at ones disposal. Words are valuable and the depth and scope you can communicate with masterful hand with language is delighting.

(ok break time)
I'd just like it noted at this point that I have been trying to write this for two weeks. It has gone in two totally separate directions and neither went anywhere with any purpose. Things have been frustration are frustration just recently so incoming whiny blog next, you know if there is a point to writing it down :P
Talk soon!