Discontent

It's hard to hide the gnashing of teeth,
the accentuated rise and fall of the the chest, the frown,
the agitation and restlessness, the anger,
the rise in pain from wounds not healed! Physical and not.
Hard to dismiss what does not apply and yet the effects that keep affecting.
Your thoughtlessness, choices plain to see,
changes deep as a dried creek bed, relevant only for a single moment.
Bizarre misplaced reasoning leading down the short road to mistakes and heart aches.
We all want our cake and to eat it to,
for what else do you have cake for?

All the while watching and observing,
reflecting on differences and drives,
we shall see what tomorrow brings

Waking dreams -- Picking up my Jaw

I had a different idea (or six) to present to you but have decided to put that on hold for a while.
I have in fact been thinking about other things the last few days. Particularly a bit of cowardice and a lot of, "wow, she's cute/pretty/beautiful" or any combination of the three. The problem I have is I didn't say that to anyone. With one notable exception.

I would have liked to have said that. I would have liked to have said, "Hey, look dont take this the worng way or anything but I think you are very pretty/beautiful". With no other motive than I thought it and maybe they might like to hear it. I got close with one but ended up stammering some stupid excuse for lingering eye contact making a silly joke cause I triped on a chair at the coffee shop. Sounds like a movie I know, was expecting any moment to have the director call cut and have a glass of water with Jennifer Anniston or something.

Intellectually I have nothing to lose and honestly I'm not really trying to gain anything. Yet I couldn't just speak these words. What was the problem? They are only words after all. I don't overly care how they are received either.

Oh well. I could probably arrange to see if I'm not forced to see each of them again. Perhaps I'll do it next time. Still nothing to lose...