Three Steps Forward, Two Steps Back -- Scattered

This seems sometimes to be the way of things. The three steps forward, two steps back. Probably not accurate but there you go feelings have never been a good judge of anything. I have been thinking about a lot of things the last couple days although nothing with much clarity or focus. Thoughts bouncing round my head and out my ears before I can chain them down. Where things are going, what I'm doing about it? How to fix my car and practise all those things I've been doing and work too much and try keep/get fit? Then there are the unusual ones.

I really love the poem Desiderata by Max Ehrmann (link at the bottom)  there are some great snippets in there. Particularly the bit about fears being brought on by fatigue and loneliness. Things seem more trouble, more painful and all around you have a little less patients when you're tired. I remind myself of it often. Sometimes I hope it is the truth. How much further can I push myself? I am sleeping better than I have for a long time. Well kinda.

Still tough days are tough. I've never liked Valentines day. I'm not a fan of most of the other Hallmark holidays either however I reserve a particular distaste for the fourteenth of February. I wont harp on about it, did that last time. I didn't do much though, worked, danced, drank and slept. All in all not a bad day at all. Today was much the same although I've only completed the working bit... So far

Essentially this one is about how scattered I have been the last few days. Not being able to pull together anything really helpful. I'm annoyed and angry and missing people and hurting. Despite it all I'm fairly contented just too busy to think too much about it. I don't think this is living in the moment like they talk about but I don't have much space for other things either. I don't have the space or the place to think anything really good right now. It is an interesting feeling. Being stretched like this. None of these things are out of control and yet...

Talk to you next time
Cheers Japetto

Desiderata - Max Ehrmann
http://www.lordtonymackenzie.com/desiderata.html

Singles Awareness Day -- Differentiation.

Up coming is Single Awareness Day (SAD) AKA February 14th AKA Valentines Day (thank you Scarlet). This little event got me thinking, although, maybe not in the way you might think it would.

Now I don't really have a problem with SAD although I have felt for a long time that it is a of a day of exclusion. I am, as you can guess, single however and this (hopefully not to much of a) rant is about couples. In particular young couples. Old couples in theory should have this sorted (although they don't) and singles shouldn't have this issue.

Anyway in the title I use a word. It is seventeen letters long and has a meaning (duh). Several meanings actually depending on where you look. Differentiation for the purpose of this is to do with the intermingling of two people within a relationship and their individual identities. Partly the concept of being whipped for blokes or whatever the woman equivalent is. Whatever the next step after making sandwiches is I guess? It has always irked me the way people get together and then they morph into this one hideous entity. They disappear sometimes for weeks on end into their cocoon and when they emerge they are this horrid gelatinous blob of a being that used to resemble your mate and or matette. They lose all ability to make decisions when you talk to one head but not the other. THIS IS WRONG! If this is you... IT'S WRONG!... FIX IT!

OK so maybe that is a touch harsh. Don't get me wrong I'll let it go on for a month maybe even two. Who knows when/if I ever have another girl friend I may do this. I'm perfectly willing to let you get away with it for a little while. In the end, you may seem like a crime against nature and you must remember that you are two separate things. The same as you always were. The person you're mates loved (or in my case put up with *wink*). Us single people (as long as we haven't just been ditched) don't begrudge you having someone. That is awesome. We really think so. Whilst you are this one entity, (its a relationship after all) you are two separate beings. This needs to be remembered. I said it twice because it is important.

So, enough of joint Facebook accounts. 95% of partners will not cheat on you if they go out of an evening without you. Going out with boys/girls keeps you sane. You need to maintain those friends you had before you met and keep meeting new ones. I won't lie it took me losing someone to learn these lessons. Sometime there are things you will like and not the other, this is OK and not the end of the world. Stop looking for the perfect partners. Stop thinking your partner is perfect. They're not and that is life, you should revel in it.

"No man is an island" said Mr John Donne, Eve was created to keep Adam company (if you believe that). We like to be in relationships. The rest of us like them to be healthy. Take time to be yourself, do what you want and be sure and certain in the knowledge of who you are and your individuality. Having said that be open to trying new things, with or without someone. Share and all that jazz. We, I, totally understand. I just want you to be healthy and grown up in your relationships now and to see MY BLOODY MATE!

cheers guys see you next time
Japetto :-P